


Straight From The Heart

by JenSurname



Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: Alternate Universe, Army, Bookstores, F/F, Friendship/Love, Love Letters, Military, Separations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-11-23 11:03:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 41,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11401212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenSurname/pseuds/JenSurname
Summary: AU. Two women meet in a bar, the connection between them is immediate. Then one of the women leaves for an undetermined amount of time, before things can get started. Can that connection be maintained? Title inspired by Alison Moyet's song, "Love Letters". Rated M for [much, much] later chapters. Story is complete.





	1. Chapter 1: The Meeting

They had met on Friday, three days earlier. It was a chance encounter, but Alex had been captivated first by her smile, and then by the way her eyes sparkled with mischief. They'd both been leaning against the crowded bar waiting to be served, and Alex managed to catch the attention of the barman before the other woman, despite her having been waiting longer.

She leant across the bar and yelled her order into the barman's ear, fighting against the too-loud music being played by the live band. "Four beers, five shots, and whatever she wants," she shouted, gesturing to the blonde standing beside her who was clutching a twenty-dollar bill in her fist.

The barman obliged, standing four longnecks on a tray along with five shots of tequila.

"Tab?" the barman asked.

"Yeah," Alex nodded. "Hers too."

She slid the tray closer to the edge of the bar, removed one of the shots from the tray and placed it in front of the cute blonde who was still waiting patiently, and who, thanks to the music, hadn't been a party to Alex's instruction to the barman.

Alex leant in close and spoke directly into the woman's ear as she nudged the shot glass closer with the tip of a finger.

"An apology, for queue jumping. Enjoy."

Before the woman could respond, Alex had lifted the tray from the bar and was weaving her way through the tables and heading back to her own seat. The woman looked at the barman as he touched her on the arm, trying to catch her attention to take her drinks order.

A little flustered, she managed to stammer out her order, then turned to watch the other woman's retreat, her brow creasing slightly.

The barman placed two glasses of white wine on the tray, then the rest of the bottle.

"Oh no," she started. "Just the two glasses please."

"Take it," he replied. "She won't mind."

She looked confused again and dug in her pocket for more cash. The barman saw this and shook his head, beckoning her closer.

As she leant in the barman shouted. "No charge. It's on Alex."

The blonde clearly didn't understand and was about to speak again when the barman gestured to the tequila still sitting on the countertop.

"Alex," he repeated, by way of explanation.

He watched the penny drop, then moved away to serve the next customer. The blonde looked around again just in time to see Alex place the tray of drinks on the table in front of her. Three other women gave cheers as she did so and all reached toward the tray. Alex glanced back to the bar, then did a double take as she caught sight of the cute blonde looking right at her.

She picked up her glass of tequila and raised it slightly towards the blonde, who smiled as she reached for her own shot and copied the movement. They downed their shots in unison, shared a knowing smile, then both went back to their friends.

An hour later, the band had finished and the blonde and her friend made to leave the bar. As they reached the door, the blonde touched her friend's arm and told her to wait for her outside, she'd just be a minute. She then turned and strode confidently in the direction of Alex's table.

Alex saw her coming, having watched her move from her own table toward the exit. She stood as the blonde got closer and took a step away from the table and her friends, eyes locked with the blue ones that approached.

"I'm Piper," the blonde started. "And you're Alex."

"I am," Alex replied, her lips curling up slightly.

Piper jerked her thumb over her shoulder toward the door. "We're leaving, but I just wanted to say thanks for the drinks."

"Any time," Alex said with a smile.

"Yeah, so… um, thanks."

"Like tomorrow."

"Excuse me?"

"Any time. Like tomorrow for example. I'm happy to buy you another drink tomorrow if you're free."

Piper laughed softly, but shook her head. "I'm sorry, I have plans for tomorrow."

"Sunday then."

She watched as a cloud of something dark flitted over Piper's face, before she shook her head again and the smile was back. "I really can't, I'm sorry. I, ah, travel with work and I fly out zero-six-hundred Monday."

"When you're back then," Alex said, admitting defeat for now. "You'll find me in here most nights. My friend owns this joint and I kinda work here when she needs me. Which is often," she added with a roll of the eyes. "Stop by. I'll be glad to buy you another drink."

Piper smiled. "I will, definitely. Thanks again."

Piper held Alex's eyes for a second longer, then turned on her heel and strode to the exit, not glancing back even once. Alex watched her every step of the way.

"There's something about her…" she said, almost to herself as she retook her seat at the table once the door had closed behind Piper.

"Damn straight there is. Hot blonde chick is immune to the Vause charm offensive! She just totally blew you out!" Nicky laughed and the other two women with them joined in, poking fun at Alex's apparent failure with the woman.

"Her name's Piper," was all Alex said, her eyes drifting back to the exit door as the ribbing and laughter continued around her.

* * *

Alex wasn't supposed to work on Saturday, but got the call to say she was needed at seven thirty. Drew had called in sick, they weren't particularly busy, but an extra pair of hands would be good if she didn't mind. She pretended to mind, but really didn't.

At nine twenty she looked over to the door as a raucous crowd burst in, before turning back to serve the next customer. The new crowd took over two tables close to the bar and Alex glanced over as the door opened again. As she looked, two women entered the bar and headed directly for the large group. One of them made eye contact with her and Alex found she couldn't look away.

Piper smiled a half-smile, then joined her friends. It took a couple of minutes for everyone to decide what they were drinking, before two young men left the group and headed to the bar.

For the next hour, Alex served customers, washed glasses and eavesdropped on the conversation going on within Piper's group. Twice more, members of the group attended the bar and bought more drinks, but Piper remained in her seat. More than once when Alex looked over, she found Piper was looking right back at her, but the group had been there almost two hours before Piper took her turn at the bar.

Alex smiled as she approached. "Hey Piper. What can I get you?"

Piper gave the lengthy order and Alex set to work putting it together.

"Having a good night?" Alex asked as she worked.

"Yeah, thanks. You?"

Alex chuckled.

"Oh yeah, I'm just living the dream right here," she said drily.

"What time do you finish?"

Alex glanced at the clock on the wall. "A little over an hour. I knock off at twelve thirty."

"Can I buy you a drink?"

"Now? Or at twelve thirty?"

Piper's cheeks coloured slightly and she looked around at the tables where her friends were seated.

"Better make it now," Alex said before Piper could answer. "You can't exactly ditch them. This is your night after all."

Piper looked back, surprised. "It is?"

Alex paused as she filled a glass with wine, her eyes meeting Piper's. "Isn't it?"

"Well, I mean, yes. But, how did you…?"

"People watching. I do a lot of it." Alex smiled and finished filling the glass.

Piper raised both eyebrows. "Really?"

"Really." Alex leant forward on the bar, and let her eyes drift over to Piper's friends. "The short chick who you arrived with, mousey hair, big laugh…"

"Polly." Piper volunteered.

"You were here with her last night. She's your best friend. Probably since high school, college maybe. At first I thought she might be your girlfriend, but then I realised she's with the tall guy with the accent."

Piper nodded. "Pete."

"The guy with the sweater, looking over at us now, he's into you but you keep him at arm's length. An ex, maybe? Whatever, he wants you, he wants the house in the suburbs and two point four kids, and he'll wait as long as it takes."

"It'll be a long wait."

Alex grinned as she reached for two more drinks. "Your brother will be pleased. He can barely stand to look at him, never mind welcome him into the family."

"My brother?" Piper couldn't hide the surprise in her voice.

"Yeah, stoner dude with the beard. He _is_ your brother, right?"

"Well yeah, but…"

Alex smiled again. "People watching, Pipes. It's an art."

Piper swivelled back on her seat to face Alex again. "Oh, it's _Pipes_ now is it?"

"Yeah, that's what your friends call you and we're friends now aren't we? I mean, you hadn't planned on coming here tonight, but did, just in case I was working. I bought you a drink, you've bought me one, we have plans to meet up when you're back from your trip…"

Piper laughed softly. "I can't argue with that."

Alex slid the tray towards Piper across the countertop, then picked up a glass of wine and raised it towards Piper.

"To new friends," she murmured.

Piper touched her glass to Alex's and repeated the toast as they looked at each other, neither woman quite able to suppress their smiles.

* * *

Sunday afternoon, four o'clock. Alex sat alone in one of the semi-circular booths, a cup of black coffee on the table in front of her, a book in her hand. Sundays were always quiet in the bar, Nicky was holding the fort and the two friends were catching up in between customers. Alex was reading whilst waiting for Nicky to return, when she was interrupted by a quiet voice.

" _Animal Farm_. Makes a change. Everyone seems to read _1984_."

Alex looked up and tried to hide her surprise at seeing Piper standing in front of her. Piper, wearing grey sweatpants and a white tank that revealed the straps of her sports bra. Piper, whose hair was tied back, other than the damp wisps that had wriggled free and clung to her neck. Piper, whose face and neck and upper torso was covered in a fine sheen of sweat.

Alex wet her lips then swallowed before formulating a reply.

"Sometimes it feels like we're living in a dystopian nightmare, I don't need to read about one too."

"Wow, cheerful."

Alex shook her head and allowed herself a smile. She patted the seat beside her. "Come, sit."

Piper sat.

"I wasn't expecting to see you today."

"I can leave if you want me to…"

"You know I don't."

Piper smiled and looked away.

"Can I get you a drink?"

Piper seemed to consider this for a moment, then shook her head. "I really can't stay. I was just out for a run, and…"

"Water, then?"

Piper paused and looked at Alex, allowing her eyes to drink in the sight of the woman before her, they came to rest on her full lips which parted as she watched and the tip of Alex's tongue made an appearance as she wet them.

"I…ah, I c-can't."

Alex's lips formed a smirk at Piper's obvious distraction and she leaned back against the bench seat.

Piper dragged her eyes away and focused on the woman working behind the bar. She took a steadying breath and spoke into the air, deliberately not looking at Alex.

"There's something about you," she started. "I don't know what it is, I can't explain it…"

Alex held her breath, waiting for Piper to continue. She watched a mixture of emotions paint Piper's face as she struggled to find the words to convey what she meant. Then she decided to help her out.

"But it's like there's a connection. Like I'm drawn to you and there's nothing I can do about it."

"Yes!" Piper exclaimed, turning to face Alex once more. "Yes, that's exactly it."

The two women sat in silence for several long seconds. Alex moved slightly closer to Piper on the seat and Piper didn't move away.

"But I'm going away tomorrow." She looked up at the clock and frowned. "I should be finishing my packing."

"We'll catch up when you get back though, right?" Alex reached out and gently touched Piper's forearm with a fingertip. "Right?"

Piper nodded silently, but the frown remained in place. She watched Alex's fingertip draw small circles on her forearm and couldn't help the goosebumps that appeared.

"I gotta go," she murmured, eyes still fixed on Alex's finger.

"Stay. Just a few minutes." Alex's voice was soft, almost pleading.

"I wish I could." Piper looked up and for a moment, just looked at the other woman silently. Her eyes moved quickly over Alex's face, almost studying her. "Really, I wish I could, but I honestly can't."

Alex nodded, accepting Piper's statement. "Okay. When're you back?"

Alex saw the wry smile that ghosted Piper's lips, then watched as it vanished just as quickly as it had appeared.

"When I can," she replied, her voice quiet. "As soon as I can."

She stood then, abruptly, taking Alex by surprise.

"I have to go, Alex, but… it was good meeting you and…"

"Pipes, wait…" Alex reached out for Piper's wrist, but she shook her head and took a step back, out of Alex's reach.

"I gotta go."

It was Alex's turn to frown and she slowly rose to her feet. "What? What am I missing here?"

Piper wet her lips and stuck her hand into her pocket, pulling out a folded piece of paper. She placed it on the table and pushed it towards Alex with one finger.

"I, um, I'd like it if you used this." Her eyes met Alex's and she just looked for a moment before adding, "Please."

"What…"

"See ya Alex. Take care." Piper turned and started to walk away.

"Piper… Piper wait!"

But Piper didn't wait. She strode to the doorway with purpose.

"Piper!" Alex called again.

The door closed and the last sight Alex caught of Piper was her turning right and setting off at a run.

"Y'okay Stretch?"

Alex frowned and turned her head to look at her friend who had appeared next to her, having watched their interaction from the bar.

"Charm still deserted you, huh?"

Alex shook her head, still frowning. "I don't know what… it's… she…" Her voice trailed off and she looked back to the door again.

"What's this?" Nicky swiped the folded piece of paper from the table and unfolded it.

It only took a moment for her to read the note. "Woah, fuck."

"What?" Alex looked at her friend and took the piece of paper that was offered. Her eyes widened in surprise and she sat heavily on the bench seat behind her.

She looked down at the note again. It was brief, but explained everything. Three lines in neatly printed block handwriting.

****_CPT PIPER CHAPMAN_  
_PSC 802 BOX 4190_ _  
_ _APO AE 09391-9928_


	2. Alex to Piper (1)

_Alex to Piper (1)_

Tuesday, March 18.

Hey Piper.

Well. I gotta be honest, that was a surprise. I looked at that piece of paper and all I saw were a jumble of letters and numbers and it took a second for them to make any sense to me. Then they made sense and yet at the same time, they made no sense at all. I had you down as some kind of preppy professional, working in a high-end office somewhere, ordering minions around. Lawyer. Editor, maybe.

" _I travel with work_ ," you said. Yeah. Isn't that the truth. Am I allowed to ask where, or is that, like, classified or some such?

It isn't often that people surprise me, but you've managed it every single time I've met you so far. First time I met you, I watched you leave the bar with your friend (Holly?) and then you surprised me by turning back and walking over to thank me for the drink. I'll admit I wasn't expecting that.

Second time it was when you turned up in the bar the next night. I'm there a lot and I've never seen you there before, then, hello! Here you are two nights running. Another pleasant surprise.

Last time I met you the surprise was an obvious one - well, two really - first seeing you there at all and second... well. The second was the biggest one, right? That one kinda sucked the air from my lungs and sapped the strength from my legs. I sat down **HARD**. I think my ass is still bruised.

" _I travel with work._ " Hah!

It's a little weird writing this letter. I mean, I've met you three times, for a total of, like, six minutes' interaction. Seven, at a push. I know next to nothing about you and yet... and yet I kinda feel like I've known you forever, like you've always been there. Really weird. It's that connection thing, I think. I don't know. I want to know everything though. I have about a bajillion questions to ask you and don't really know where to start.

I guess I'll start with the obvious. (I should say, there are a couple of ways to do this. 1) The polite conversation way, or 2) How I actually mean it. So let's go with the real me, shall we?)

You're in the motherfuckin' US Army?! How in the hell did that even happen? Seriously, what? Like, why and when and where and who and what? Do you have a gun? Do you kill people? OMG, have you really killed people? Are you, like, a highly-trained assassin? ARE YOU A SNIPER? Snipers are so cool, Piper. In my next life, I'm coming back as a sniper. Please tell me you're a sniper. Even if you're not. Lie to me, let me live vicariously through your highly skilled sniping abilities!

I'm not a sniper, obviously. I would be far too excited just at the mere thought of being a sniper to actually hold the gun steady. I'm not a bartender either, although I do find myself doing that more often these days than I ever agreed to. My friend Nicky owns the bar, I've known her forever, it started out that I would just hang out there so I could hang with her, then she had me helping out behind the bar when they got busy, then before I knew it I was running shifts there. Still not entirely sure how that happened. I'm not actually employed there, I just help Nic out when needed. I make out like it's a drag and pisses me off, but I enjoy it really. Gives me time to people watch. People fascinate me. Being able to watch how they interact with each other, working out the fake friends from the real friends, the colleagues with a crush, the jocks with the secret fixations on their friends, the cheaters and the first dates, the troubled and the happy. You see people from every walk of life come through those doors and they all have their stories to tell, I like trying to work out what their stories are.

You, though. You had me totally fooled on Saturday. I'd worked out that all of those people were there because of you, I'd worked out that it was your choice to come to Nicky's bar, I'd worked out that it was a kind of send-off, but I totally hadn't worked out where you were going or why. You got me, kid. I also hadn't worked out how long you were going away for. I'd thought it was for a few days. A week, maybe. So, I totally missed that one and I guess that leads me onto my next question: how long are you away for? What I really mean is, when are you back? No. No that's a lie. What I **REALLY** mean is, when will I see you again?

Cpt Piper Chapman. That's Captain, right? Does that make you an officer, not just a grunt? Does that mean that part of my initial perception was correct and you really do spend your time ordering minions around? If you're a Captain (and I'm fully prepared to have got my abbreviations totally wrong and find it really stands for "Circus Pony Trainer" and you're currently in a barn somewhere in the Midwest twirling your lasso) then that means you're not new to this, doesn't it? I mean, I'm no expert on this, but isn't that something you have to work up to? I guess what I'm realising as I'm writing this down, is that this is what you do. This is your job and something you've done for some time.

Hmm.

Yeah. There you go with the whole surprising me again thing. Don't get me wrong, it's cool. I'd love to work with fire-jugglers and trapeze artists for a living. Tell me though, are the clowns always that cheerful in real life too, or is it just for show? And before you answer, please remember, your answer could totally destroy my childhood memories, so please think carefully!

Okay. I'm signing off now. I'm sure you have greater demands on your time than to sit there (where?) reading this.

Take care of yourself, Piper. No really. Do that.

Alex.


	3. Piper to Alex (1)

_Piper to Alex (1)_

Wednesday, March 26.

Hi Alex,

Thanks so much for your letter. I'm so glad you wrote. I received your letter yesterday and when I didn't recognise the handwriting on the envelope I hoped it might be from you. I opened it last night, just before midnight, and as I have some down time today thought I'd take the chance to reply now while I can.

Mail can be a little hit and miss here. It can take anything from four days to a couple of weeks for mail to reach me and it's about the same when I write home too. Packages are even longer, but letters aren't too bad most of the time.

Your letter made me laugh out loud in places and I really appreciate that. It's not exactly fun and games over here, so I'm grateful for you bringing a little levity to my day. Night. Whatever, thank you.

The ponies are behaving themselves at the moment, the clowns not so much. In answer to your question, the clowns are NOT always cheerful. It's all for show. I'm sorry to be shattering your childhood illusions here Alex, but seriously, they are the most miserable group of people you'll ever encounter. That's not surprising really, given how often their cars break down. The fire jugglers are the worst though. They have this air of grandiosity that really gets to me. Ponies are cooler than fire, right? I mean sure, they throw flaming pins in the air, but I have to contend with ponies with minds of their own with nothing but a loud voice and a whip to help me!

The circus tent isn't in the Midwest. I'm not at liberty to tell you exactly where I am, but I'm not in the Midwest. The opposite point on the compass would be far more accurate. I can tell you though that's it's hot here, and dusty. I'm never sure if it's dust or sand, it's like a mixture of the two and it gets EVERYWHERE. You know when you go to the beach and the wind picks up and before you know it there is sand in your sandwiches? It's like that, multiplied by about a million. When you finish at the beach and you go home again, you shower and wash away sand that had lodged itself in crevices you didn't even know you had, but here you shower and you wash it away and then you add it all back in again when you're towelling off, because towels and clothes aren't exempt from being covered in sand either. The heat of the day is countered by the cold of night. When the sun sets, the temperature plummets. I spend most of my days longing for working aircon and most of my nights shivering and dreaming of open fires and a never-ending pile of logs to keep me warm. Then there are the dust storms. They come in from nowhere and within about ten minutes, visibility goes from endless to zero.

I've been here before, so I knew what to expect. For some of the others this is their first tour and I can see them wondering what they've got themselves into. This is my fourth tour (yes, I'm just THAT lucky!) so it's not as much of a shock to the system as it is for some, but it still isn't anything I've ever become used to. The sand. I can't even tell you.

I've been an employee of Uncle Sam for the past five years. I joined pretty much straight from college. Why? That's a much bigger question. Can I save that answer for another letter? It may take some time to explain. Some days I'm still not sure of the answer myself. Cpt is Captain, you're right. Two silver bars, but no ordering around of minions. Well, not every day anyway. :)

It sounds like you enjoy your time in the bar. You're pretty good at the people watching thing, I remember. You had our group pretty much down to a tee. Of all of those people with me in the bar that night though, you're the first to have written to me. Considering I've known some of them almost all of my life, that's quite impressive. I guess maybe they've known me for long enough to be glad of the break from me when I leave, whereas you've not learned to appreciate the break yet. :)

It's a little strange, writing to someone who's effectively a stranger. I know next to nothing about you. It reminds me of when I was fourteen and had a pen pal in Sweden. I only wrote to her three times before I realised we had nothing in common and so stopped, but I have a feeling that you and I probably have some things in common at least. You read George Orwell for fun and not school, that's a good start anyway. I almost want to play '20 Questions' with you. Is that lame? Is that something that can be done by letter? How about we tone it down and just do three? I'll ask you three questions and at the same time I'll tell you the same three things about me.

How old are you?  
Is that too personal? Never ask a lady her age? I'll go first. Twenty-seven. I'll be turning twenty-eight on June 7th.

What is it that you do? You said you don't really work in the bar, you just help your friend out sometimes. So what do you really do? Clearly I'm in the US Army, but I'm sorry to disappoint you, I'm not a sniper. I'm a nurse, specifically a 66H. That's medical-surgical. For the record, every sniper I've ever met has been an asshole. Please don't be a sniper.

Last question, if you could close your eyes and when you open them again be anywhere else in the world right now, where would you be? For me, if I could be anywhere else right now, I think I'd quite simply choose home. Home where I have a real bed, with a real mattress, a real comforter, brick walls instead of canvas, and no sand. Definitely no sand.

I've just re-read your letter and realised I've barely answered any of the questions you asked, so here's a quick rundown:

Yes, I have a gun. Two, actually, but I only have my sidearm on me at all times. I try not to kill people, just the opposite in fact, but I would have no hesitation in doing so if necessary. That said, I'm definitely not an assassin! How long am I going to be away for? That's a good question and one I don't really know the answer to. My first deployment here lasted seven months. My last deployment was fifteen. We were told when we shipped out that this tour should be the shortest yet and we'd be back for Labor Day, but there's already a book running on how long we'll actually be here. I'm in for twenty bucks with a target date of Thanksgiving. Who knows?

I'm going to sign off now and go grab some lunch. Thanks again for writing, Alex. I hope to hear from you again.

Take care,

Piper.


	4. Alex to Piper (2) and (3)

_Alex to Piper (2)_

Wednesday, April 2

[scribbled inside the front cover of Animal Farm, by George Orwell]

Piper,

I finished the book and figured I'd send it to you for when you have some down time.

Don't go starting any revolutions though, okay?

Stay safe,  
Alex

* * *

_Alex to Piper (3)_

Monday, April 7

Hey Piper,

Thanks for your letter. Thanks also for the heap of sand that fell out of it when I opened the envelope. I had a nice smattering of it clinging to my sweater for two days afterwards, is this your way of sharing the pain? It's like having all of the grief of going to the beach without any of the hot chicks in skimpy bikinis!

I must admit I'm having second thoughts about continuing our correspondence now I discover you're not a highly-trained assassin and/or sniper. Next you'll be telling me you don't wear a uniform and then all of my fantasies will be shattered! ;)

Your letter arrived here on Friday, April 4th. Today is Monday. I spent much of the weekend working, Nic took her wife away for the weekend for their anniversary, which meant I spent Friday and Saturday night in the bar steering the ship for her. I was beat when I finally got to bed on Friday - I'd spent the day in my real job, then went straight on to the bar. My real job, by the way, is working in a bookstore. We specialise in art and photography books, nothing else, both new and second-hand. Or third- or fourth- or fifth-hand in some cases. We have some biographies of artists, some on architecture (some architecture is art in itself, look at Gaudi's work for example), a huge range of specialist textbooks, but our scope is pretty narrow. We're quite well known and have become something of a mecca for arts students particularly. Each month we give over the back section of the store, what's become the gallery area I guess, to display art works by students from the local colleges. We're in the Village, so there are a bunch of schools close by and we try to rotate between all of them.

That's one of your twenty questions answered, isn't it. Next? You're right, it's rude to ask a lady her age, but then I'm far from ladylike so that makes it okay! I'm twenty-nine. I've already had my birthday this year, last month, so I have a way to go before the dreaded big three-oh. I think my friends have already started planning a party that I'm apprehensive about even with eleven months left to prepare for it!

I liked your last question. You went with two basic facts and one that I had to think about. Only I didn't, not really. I knew the answer to that immediately, but I've spent much of the weekend trying to think of something else I could tell you instead. I decided on telling you that the one place I'd choose to be if I could open my eyes and be elsewhere is Livrario Lello in Porto, Portugal. Google it, seriously. It's a bookstore, but it is absolutely the most stunningly beautiful bookstore you will ever cast your eyes on. So yeah, I choose there.

(I just realised, is telling you to Google it any use? Do you have internet access there? If so, why are we writing letters and not emailing?!)

I liked your choice too, though. Home must seem like the best place in the world when you're where I think you are. Certainly safer. So that leads me into the first of my three questions for you. Where is home, Piper? When you're not "travelling with work", where are your roots? I live in Greenwich, in a one bedroom apartment above the store. I've been here for the past six years and I like it here. It's not huge, but it's home. I was brought up in the East Bronx, so I've not travelled too far from my roots I guess.

Question two is another factual one. I still want to know why you joined the army, but I'll let you get to that one in your own time. For now, tell me about why you chose nursing. Like I said, I'd never have called that by looking at you, you have a certain air about you that I would never have linked with a career in nursing, so there has to be a reason. What is it? I chose a bookstore because since I was a kid I always found an escape in books and I have a real love of them. I didn't ever aspire to college or a career as such, I just wanted to surround myself with books. I came into some money a few years ago and when I sat down and got my head straight and thought about what I was going to do with it, I realised it was high time I got my life on track and did something worthwhile. I sunk every last penny I owned – and more besides – into buying the building and setting up the store. It was tough, but it was the best decision I ever made. My life was floundering a bit up until that point, I was drifting and I'll admit to having gone off the rails a little, it was a turning point for me. I haven't looked back.

So the last question then, following the trend you set in your letter, tell me about the woman I saw you in the bar with. Holly? I took a guess at her being your best friend. Am I right, or did I misread that one and there's something more? You already know that my bestie is Nicky. She's a year younger than me, I've known her since I was seventeen. We met when we were both arrested at a party in Yonkers – I'm not even kidding! – when the police raided the place and locked us up for the night. It was meant to teach us a lesson, I think, but what it actually taught me was how to lie convincingly to my mom about why I didn't return home that night. Nicky and I have been friends ever since. We've been through a lot together and she's the one person in my life I know I can truly depend on when shit gets real.

I'm sitting in work as I write this, at my desk in the front of the store. (I have a double pedestal antique oak desk and it's my pride and joy, so I show it off!) I have a view onto the street and have been watching people dodge the rain as I write. I've been interrupted four times so far by customers and I'm expecting another interruption any minute now as I've just seen Nic's wife, Lorna, run into the coffee shop opposite. It was the Hello Kitty umbrella that gave her away. I fully expect her to appear here in a couple of minutes carrying two coffees, ready to regale me with tales of her romantic weekend away. Must remember to keep smiling and not appear envious. Smile, Alex. Smile and nod. :)

This seems as good a time as any to sign off. I hope you're okay, Piper, and keeping yourself safe. I have absolutely no idea what it's like to be where you are, to not know when you're coming home. I don't know what your days are like, what your living conditions are like, but I hope you're doing okay.

Take care, okay?

Alex.


	5. Piper to Alex (2)

_Piper to Alex (2)_

Friday, April 18

Hi Alex,

It's good to hear from you. You're still my one and only correspondent. Sorry about the sand in my last letter, I swear I didn't do it deliberately. I told you it got everywhere, didn't I. If it's any consolation, there are no hot chicks in skimpy bikinis here either. Plenty of buff shirtless guys, but I'm picking up a vibe that that isn't really your thing… mine either, but it doesn't stop them trying their luck.

Thanks for answering the questions. I Googled that Portuguese bookstore last night and OH MY GOD. You're right, it's absolutely stunning. I've definitely added it to my list of places to see before I'm thirty. That might be unrealistic, but it's on there. Have you ever been? Or is it on your list too?

You don't escape that easily though. The first of my three questions for you today is this: Where would you REALLY go? What's the very first place you thought of? I'm intrigued as to what your immediate response to the question was, so I'm asking again.

Yes, we have access to the internet here. Problem is, there are around a thousand of us here in the camp at the moment and we have access to just twenty computers. At any given time, there are between eight to twelve of them actually working and the queue to use them is usually more than an hour, no matter the time of day. I got lucky last night, I was late finishing and headed in around 0330hrs, the queue was only about ten minutes so I was able to look up Livrario Lello. I'll admit I also spent a few minutes trying to find your own bookstore on Google Maps, but then the connection went down and without a name to search for, I was struggling anyway. The connection is always going down. There are no telephone lines here, no cable, no dial up modems. It's all done by satellite communication and this is often taken offline "for reasons of operational security". Or at least that's what they tell us. I suspect it's just a shitty unreliable system. So emailing wouldn't be the best option. Emails don't let me see your handwriting anyway (curvier than I'd expected it to be), or see how well you write without the benefit of spellcheck. You can't type and delete anything in a letter, so you have to really take time and think about what you're going to say as you can't go back and change it or correct it later. Letters are always a pleasant surprise at mail call too, rather than queuing for over an hour to check email and finding you've received nothing more than spam anyway. Letter writing is a dying art, I think. I much prefer letters to emails when I'm away. The other problem with emails, is that I can't fold up an email and stuff it in my pocket to read again when I get ten minutes between patients. I can't lie in bed reading an email like I can a letter, keeping it close to me as a small reminder of home. I like receiving your letters, Alex. I hope you keep sending them.

I think I can answer two of your latest questions together. The one about home and the one about Holly. First of all, her name is Polly, not Holly and yes, she's my best friend. You were right that night in the bar, I've known her a long time. We met in college, randomly assigned to the same dorm. It was kinda spooky that you worked it out quite so accurately, honestly! Definitely only friends though, absolutely no benefits. I only lasted a year in college before I dropped out and went to nursing school instead, but we remained friends and we still are. When I told her I was going to nursing school and would be moving out, Polly actually came with me. She said she couldn't stand the thought of being assigned somebody even worse to live with than me! Her parents are big in Real Estate and owned an apartment building that was close to both of our colleges, so we moved into one of them and we've stayed together ever since. She works on the Upper West Side now, in Publishing, and we now rent a two-bed apartment in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn. Not that I'm there much, but it's still home. My roots are there now, but my family are in CT. New Canaan is where I was raised, my parents are still there. I have two brothers, one older (Daniel) and one younger (Cal). Cal is the one who was with us in the bar that Saturday night. He still lives at home, sponging off mom and dad. Daniel lives in DC.

Oh wow, Alex. Literally as I'm sitting here writing this, my bunk mate has just come in and tossed a package at me. I've just opened it and it's from you! Thank you so much for the book. That's so thoughtful of you. Wow, seriously, I'm tearing up a little here. That's such a nice thing for you to do. Thank you. I promise I'm not planning on starting a revolution and I'm definitely doing my best to stay safe. Damn, now Washington is giving me shit because she said I'm crying. I'm not crying. I'm just a little choked. Touched. She is DESPERATE to know who 'Alex' is. She's seen me reading your letters and has been asking me a million questions about you ever since. What she doesn't realise of course, is that I have about a million of my own.

I only have two left for this letter though, so I'm going to give them some consideration and answer your last one before I ask my own. Why nursing? Why not. :) Nursing was never something I grew up aspiring to do. I was never one of those little girls who dressed up in pretend uniforms and played at "curing" my dolls. When I went to college, I was majoring in English Literature and Philosophy. Then my grandmother got sick. I think Gram is probably the person I was closest to in my family, she was somebody I could be myself around and she never expected me to be something I'm not. (Unlike my mother.) She got really sick really fast, but the care that she received from the nurses who were with her was second to none. I mean, really, it struck me how devoted they were and how much of a positive difference they were making to Gram's life as it was nearing an end. They really valued her, you know? They treated her with dignity and respect and nothing was too much trouble for them. They were inspiring, quite literally. Within three weeks of Gram passing, I had dropped English Lit and Philosophy and had transferred into Nursing instead. Of course, the type of nursing I do is very different to the kind Gram's nurses were doing, but our values are the same and I hope I can make the same positive difference to my patients as they did for my dear Gram.

I so want to know more about how you met Nicky! You totally gave me half a story there and I need the details. Only if you're willing to share them though, I'm not using up one of my questions on this. :) It's important to have good friends though, someone who can keep you grounded. Polly does that for me and it sounds like that's what Nicky does for you, too. It's really nice of you to look after the bar for her so she could take her wife away for the weekend, I hope they brought you back more than just a coffee as a thank you. I'm a little worried now though that Nicky's wife is only twelve years old. Hello Kitty umbrella? Really? :D

Your bookstore sounds beautiful, Alex. I'll bet it gives the place in Portugal a run for its money, as well as giving you ample opportunity to hone your people watching skills, not to mention all the hot young things that must cross your threshold every day! It must be nice to live above where you work, too. No long commute for you, just roll out of bed and down the stairs and you're there. Are you going to tell me the name of your store so that I can internet stalk you from the other side of the world?

I work shifts here. I cover eighty hours in two weeks, in theory. In practice it's a lot more. I can't just leave a patient on the table because my shift is over, right? I tend to work six twelve hour shifts and one eight hour. I rarely do more than three shifts in a row before getting two days off, and my eight-hour shift and at least one of my twelves is spent doing military BS rather than actual nursing, but it's okay. The down time is welcome but becomes boring pretty quickly. There's a gym here, but it's outdoor and usually filled with the aforementioned buff and shirtless brigade so I try to avoid that. I tend to spend my down time sleeping, reading, or running laps within the perimeter of the camp. Running relaxes me, I've done it since high school. I hang out with Washington pretty regularly, when our down time marries up. She's a nurse too, but from a military family, so she's used to all the BS that comes with the territory. I've been in for five years, but I'm still not used to it. Another way I spend my down time this tour is of course by writing to you. It helps. I kinda like it. Let's continue with that. :)

Alright, this is getting lengthy so I should think about wrapping up. Washington's been back in twice giving me shit about how long I'm spending writing to you when I could be chasing down decent chow with her. She said you must be "a special guy" and she hopes you're hot if she's missing dinner for you.

So my final two questions. I told you about my family earlier, so my first question is about yours. Any brothers or sisters? Are your parents close by? (I realise that's two questions really, but it counts as one as it's on the same theme!) My last question is this: if I hadn't had to come here a couple of days after meeting you and I'd taken you up on that offer of a drink, where would you have taken me?

Thanks again for the book. That was so sweet of you.   
Write soon.

Piper


	6. Alex to Piper (4)

_Alex to Piper (4)_

Sunday, April 27

Hey Pipes, how's it going?

I'm writing to you today from Nic's place. Your letter arrived yesterday and I brought it with me to the bar so I can reply. It's a usual Sunday in NYC for me, drinking coffee and trying to catch up with Nicky whilst she runs the bar.

I'm glad you liked the Portuguese bookshop. If you get the opportunity, you also need to look up photos of Libreria Acqua Alta. This one's in Venice. Don't bother reading any of the blurb about it, just do an image search. I can fill you in on the details. The name translates roughly to "Bookstore of High Water" and most of the books inside are shelved in bathtubs and basins, rowboats and waterproof bins and in one room, actually in a gondola. Venice is prone to flooding and when the high water – the acqua alta – comes, it can rise several inches inside the store, so they try to protect the books by using practical shelving. It's such a great idea and it looks amazing. The shop in Porto isn't somewhere I've ever visited and neither is this place in Venice. One day though. One day.

Your camp (base?) sounds pretty big if it houses so many people. Sucks about the phones and internet, though. Twenty computers is nowhere near enough for a thousand people. What the fuck? How are you meant to keep in touch with people? Well, by letter obviously, but how is that considered adequate? It just seems wrong to me. It's a good job you like receiving letters, it seems that you have no other option for maintaining contact with home. Can you tell me any more about what it's like there? I'm trying to build a picture of it in my mind's eye, but I'm struggling. I understand if you can't tell me anything because of security, that's okay. I'm just curious.

As for curiosity… okay, I'll satisfy yours. My store is called "Arts & Minds" and you'll find us on West 10th. To save you any difficulty in Google stalking, the phone number is 646-555-5212 and my cell is 917-555-0112. I'm pretty sure Google Maps isn't a live feed though, so you're not going to be able to check out any of the "hot young things" (as you put it) who grace my store. I must admit, it's a definite perk of the job! :)

You're big with the tough questions, Pipes, you know that? Let me get right down to it and tackle the family one first. This is probably about as far removed from your upbringing in Preppy Central as it's possible to get. I have no brothers or sisters, there's just me. Growing up, it was just me and my mom. Her and my dad were never anything serious, he was in a band, she was effectively a groupie. They hung out and hooked up a few times when his band were playing here and by the time she found out she was pregnant with me, the band had moved on to the next city in the tour and that was that. She tried to get in touch with him to let him know, but he wasn't interested. He was moving on to bigger and better things than a knocked up twenty-year-old in the Bronx. Mom worked hard to take care of me, to make sure I had everything I needed. She worked three jobs for as long as I can remember, we always had a roof over our heads and I never went hungry. She did some days, I realise now, but I never did. We were a team, my mom and I. She was my best friend. As long as we had each other, I knew we'd be okay. Then when I was twenty, she got out of bed one morning and dropped down dead. Aneurism. Gone, just like that.

So that was nine years ago and, to answer your other question, if I could close my eyes and open them again and be anywhere else at all? Truth: it'd be sitting on the battered couch in our run-down shitty apartment in the Bronx with my mom, just so I could tell her how much I love her, just one last time.

Sorry you asked now, huh? :)

But wait, it doesn't end there… two years after mom died, I was pretty fucked up. As I already said, my life was floundering and I'd gone off the rails. I'd made some bad choices, done things I'm not proud of, when out of the blue I was contacted by a lawyer from South Carolina. Seems dear old daddy had also shuffled off this mortal coil, but in rather spectacular fashion. He was found with a tourniquet around his bicep, a needle in his arm, and veins full of a particularly high grade of heroin.

I didn't give a shit. I didn't know the guy, I never met him, I never really wanted to. When I was a kid I thought it was kinda cool that my dad was a rock star, I used to tell the other kids in school to try and score some cred (it didn't work), but that was all. I had my mom, I didn't need him too. Mom was always honest with me about him and so when it came down to it, it wasn't a loss I mourned. He was a stranger to me.

Thing is though, it turned out that ol' Lee may have had some regrets about not making things right with his kid and maybe even a conscience, because when it came down to it, the guy had made provisions for me in his will. Can you believe it? Nobody was more shocked about this than me. I didn't think he even knew my name! So there I was, still bereft about losing my mom, broke, living on Nicky's couch, doing things I still don't like admitting to, my life in the gutter and then I find out the jerk who never wanted any part of my life left a provision for me in his will, to the tune of one point two mil.

Like I told you, it was a turning point for me. I got my shit together, blew it on some prime real estate and I haven't looked back. I still miss my mom every day, but I think she'd be proud of what I've done with my life since she passed.

I'm back home again now. I left the bar about twenty minutes ago when Nic kicked me out. Apparently she likes chatting with me on a Sunday afternoon, not watching me hunched over the table scribbling letters, and who sends letters these days anyway, haven't I heard of email? I didn't get into it with her, I just came home. :)

I'm sitting in my living room, overlooking the street. I had a window seat put in when I renovated, so I'm propped up there with far too many cushions and with the sash window open to let in some air. I have coffee beside me and good intentions to get this letter finished tonight so I can send it off tomorrow.

I've just read back through everything I've written so far and am now doubting whether I should send this at all, or just scrap it and start again, leaving out all of the heavy family stuff. Maybe our twenty questions should stick to things like your favourite colour, favourite food and your secret crush! (Green, rare steak, Emma Watson).

Fuck, I can't believe I've told you all of that, but you did ask. My turn now, okay? I'm still aware of the unanswered question about why you joined up, but here are three more. What is your favourite colour? Okay, okay no. Seriously.

I was really impressed with your reason for choosing nursing as a career, by the way. Taking such a big decision like that and dropping what you were doing to pursue a different path takes guts. How did it go down with your parents? For that matter, how do they feel about you serving in the military? Your Gram sounds like she was Good People, it's a special thing to have someone supportive and accepting like that in your life. She clearly made a lasting impression on you, as did the nurses who cared for her.

The story about Nic and I meeting and getting arrested is one I'm going to keep under my hat. I need to have SOME secrets, Piper. How else do I keep up the air of mystery that keeps you interested in me, huh? ;)

Let me consider your final question in your last letter, shall I? If you hadn't ABANDONED me three days after meeting me and you'd accepted my offer of a drink – which you DID, for the record, it's just on hold - where would I have taken you? Hmm. I don't know, where would you want to go? More to the point, would it have been a casual drink or would it have been a date? I think I need to know the answer to this before I can give you an answer, I wouldn't want to misread the entire thing and make a fool of myself. I mean, if I were to think it was a date and then you turn up with your long-term girlfriend on your arm, then I would feel very foolish indeed. Best to clear these things up beforehand.

These letters are getting longer with each one we write, you know. It's an interesting way of getting to know you though and I look forward to your letters arriving. The next one you send me will be number three, which going by your previous form, could well be the last. I hope that I do a little better than your Swedish pen pal and you think we maybe do have some things in common. If nothing else, we could continue writing to give you chance to find out for certain…

I hope this letter finds you well, Piper. I can't even begin to imagine what it's like over there. Stay safe, rest when you can, and know that I'm thinking of you.

Alex  
x


	7. Piper to Alex (3) and reply

_Piper to Alex (3)_

Monday, May 5

[hastily scrawled on the back of a blank military order form]

So busy. No time. Sorry.

Blue  
Lobster  
You

Pipes  
x

* * *

_Alex to Piper (5)_

Wednesday, May 14

Hi Pipes,

I received your order for 1000 nasal cannulas, 2000 gauze swabs, 500 nasopharyngeal airways (blue), 300 Combat Application Tourniquets, 300 bandage kits (elastic), and a crate of lobsters. Sadly this wasn't signed off by your commanding officer, so I've been unable to process it. Please feel free to resubmit when you have more time. Also, I feel certain there may have been an error with the third item on the form. Please review and keep me posted.

Keep well,

Alex  
x


	8. Alex to Piper (6)

_Alex to Piper (6)_

Monday, May 26

Hey Pipes,

I hope you're doing okay. I haven't received anything from you since your scribbled note on the order form and I guess you're too stretched to write at the moment. Either that or I've fallen by the wayside like your Swedish pen pal!

Don't worry, this isn't a letter to nag or guilt you into writing back to me. I just figured that even though you're too busy to write at the moment, that doesn't necessarily mean you're too busy to read and maybe I can provide a little distraction for you at the end of your shift.

I don't really have anything to tell you, so I'll just ramble a while. That okay with you? My people watching continues unabated and there's been an exciting development in the neighbourhood. The coffee shop opposite my store has invested in three outdoor tables with chairs. This means that I can now sit at my desk and check out not only the passing foot traffic, but the people sitting outside with their coffee too. Oh, the drama and opportunity!

The store is doing okay and things are ticking over. We've been busy this past week preparing for a new exhibition that opens tomorrow for three weeks. This one is by a kid called Millie Krantz, she's only twenty-two, but she's a real talent. She's studying at NYAA and she's been getting increasingly flustered as the opening approaches. Her work is mainly oil on canvas, but she dabbles in mixed media too and I don't think she realises just how good she is. Hopefully she'll get some positive feedback from the exhibition and it'll give her the boost she needs to go on to bigger and better things. She's a nice kid, a petite little redhead with a cute smile and impossibly short skirts. You're missing out, Pipes!

I was thinking of sending you another book to keep you going, but I'm not sure what you like. Any preferences? I'm tempted to just stick with the classics, I figure I'm pretty safe there. There's an incredible little second-hand bookstore just around the corner from here, it's tiny and it's crammed from floor to ceiling with every type of book you can imagine, from Shakespeare to chick-lit and everything in between. It's the kind of place where there's no order to anything and you can lose yourself inside for hours. I'll have to take you there when you're back, I have a feeling you'd like it.

I went out with some friends on Saturday night, we ventured into Backbar, in Chelsea. You ever been? It's a nice place, artsy vibe, the kind of place that looks way outta my league. :) It's meant to be a secret spot, no signage, but then Lindsay Lohan was spotted there last year and all of a sudden it's gotten popular. It's a great spot for people watching and exorbitantly priced cocktails. We only stayed there for a couple of hours, then headed back to the Village where we did a tour of the kind of bars your mother warned you about before I rolled back home somewhere around 4am. I dragged myself out of bed at ten and found two half-naked women on my couch. I swear they weren't there when I went to bed! One of them was Janae, one of the friends I'd been out with, I still have no idea who the other chick was. I'm guessing Janae got lucky. ON MY COUCH! I don't know whether I should be mad or envious. Possibly both.

Ugh. Sudden thought. Should I be talking about going out, drinking cocktails, seeing friends, picking up women, having fun? Is that like really bad form? Like, see how great my life is and how much fun I'm having while you're half a world away serving your country and fighting the bad guys to ensure I can keep living this kind of life? Shit. Sorry, Pipes. I'm an insensitive asshole sometimes.

Let me tell you what I've started doing since I met you, though. I've started buying a newspaper and occasionally watching the news on TV. Only occasionally watching TV, like once a week, but they're two things I've avoided for quite a few years now. Not because I want to live in ignorance, I don't do that, but because sometimes when I see what a sorry state the world is in it makes me want to crawl into bed and hide. Since I met you though, I've been buying a newspaper every morning when I pick up my coffee and I spend the first half hour of my day reading what's happening in the world. Or in one specific part of the world anyway. Specifically, a place that's the opposite point on a compass to the Midwest. I have to admit that it's not exactly making me sleep any easier. I hope you're okay, Piper. I really do. I'm in awe of you, you know that? Genuinely. I've never met anyone who can make feel so entirely inadequate in all my life – and I was bullied at school, so that's saying something!

I better go. I can hear Millie having some kind of a breakdown out back. She may be in need of my shoulder to cry on. ;)

Stay safe, pretty lady.

Alex  
x


	9. Alex to Piper (7) and (8)

_Alex to Piper (7)_

Tuesday, May 27

[scribbled inside the front cover of Moby Dick, by Herman Melville]

Pipes,

Call me Ishmael… but only on a Tuesday. ;)  
Another classic to tide you over.

Also, tucked inside the back cover is a photo I've printed for you. I surreptitiously took it on my phone this morning. This is Student Millie. A classic to tide you over indeed.

A.  
x

* * *

_Alex to Piper (8)_

Friday, May 30

[written inside a birthday card, the front of which reads " _I'm not 28, I'm 18 with ten years' experience_ " in bold, colourful letters.]

Dear Piper,

It feels a little weird wishing a happy birthday to someone in a war zone, so let me wish you a safe birthday instead and I hope it's as happy as it can be.

Keep a hold of this card. It's redeemable for one night of debauchery in belated birthday celebration when you return.

Have a good one, Pipes.

Love,  
Al.  
x


	10. Piper to Alex (t1)

Saturday, June 7

It's 4:10am. The buzzing is constant and seems to be getting louder. It's harsh and unrelenting and only after twenty seconds does Alex's conscious mind kick in and she reaches out, fumbling on the bedside table until her fingers close around the phone.

She doesn't look at the screen, there's no point with no glasses, but even if she could read it, it would only say "No Caller ID".

"Hello?" Her voice is thick with sleep as she answers.

Nothing.

"Hello?" she repeats, a frown creasing her brow.

There's static, a couple of clicks, then a hiss, then a voice, faint and distorted by more static.

"Alex?"

Alex presses the phone to her ear harder, as if that would make the line clearer.

"Yeah?"

"Alex? Is that you?"

Alex sits bolt upright in bed, suddenly wide awake.

"Pi-Piper?!"

"Yeah, hi."

"Holy fucking shit, Piper!"

"I wanted […] call […..] -ank you for […] card."

"Piper? Pipes, you're breaking up. You okay?"

"Yeah […] down time today, so I thought I'd [….] you to say […] for my card."

Alex presses her hand to her forehead, leaning forward, straining to catch the words as Piper's distorted voice bounces from satellite to satellite and into her room.

"You're calling to thank me for your card?"

"Yes. It came today. Perf- [….] -iming."

"It got there in time? I was worried it wouldn't get there in time. Is it today? Is today Saturday?"

"Yeah. Are you okay? You soun- […] off."

"No, I'm okay. I'm good. I'm, it's four in the morning, Pipes. I was sleeping. I'm not awake."

"Oh [… ] God! […] so sorry! It's […] the afternoon here, I did- […] think. Sorry."

"No no no! Don't. Don't apologise. It's okay. It's really more than okay. It's great! Happy birthday!"

Piper's laugh is broken by static. "Thank you. And thank […] my card [….] voucher."

Alex smiles, her mind filling in the blanks in Piper's side of the conversation.

"Looking […] -ward to use […] it."

"Me too, Pipes. As soon as you're back. You're okay, yeah? You're keeping safe?"

"Yes, yeah, I'm okay. Tired, it's been crazy busy but […] -mer now, settling [….]. Chief said I could make […] call […] my birthday. Just one call, so… "

"You get one call and you use it to call me?"

"Who else am I [….] call at […] in the morning?"

Alex grins, hearing the smile in Piper's voice. "I'm glad you chose me. Happy about that."

"I love get-[…] letters. They [….] me going. I like hearing about [….] life. Getting to know you. Learning […] -out you."

"Me too, Pipes."

"[…] you for […] books, too. […] so grateful, honestly, they're [….] "

Alex frowns more, tilting her head as if the position of the phone will improve the connection. The static increases, white noise fills the airwaves for several seconds.

"[…] still there? Al?"

"I'm here! I'm still here Piper!" Alex is aware she's almost shouting, but can't help herself.

"Satellite phone [….] of crap, honestly."

"It's okay, I can't believe you've called at all, it's okay."

"I'm gonna write soon, okay? I know I owe you […] letters. At least […] of them. […] soon, I promise."

"Hey, don't sweat it kid. I know you're busy over there. Write when you can, it's no biggie. I'll keep writing to you in the meantime. Just do it when you can. I love hearing from you."

"I'm […] go in a minute. Chief said […] minutes only."

"Okay, I understand. That's alright."

"It's good to hear your voice again though."

"Even my sleepy voice?"

"[…] love your sleepy voice. […] cute."

"Ha! I'm not sure anyone's ever called me cute before."

"I don't believe that […] a second."

Alex smiles and doesn't reply.

"[….] I ask you […]-thing?"

"Sure, anything."

"[…] next letter […] photo. This time not of a student though."

"Photo?"

"Yeah."

"You want me to send you a photo?"

"[…] please."

"Of what?"

"Huh?"

"What do you want a photo of?"

" _You_ , Alex!"

"Ohhhhh!" The penny drops and Alex feels a little foolish. "For real?"

"Please. It'd be [….] to have one. […] see you […] -ever I like."

"Sure, okay. I can do that. I'll send one in my next letter. But fair's fair Captain Chapman, you gotta send one this way too."

Alex smiles as she hears Piper's laugh again.

"I'll see what I can […] in my next […] soon as I can."

"Thank you. That'd be great."

"I gotta go, Al. Sorry. Time's up."

"Hey no, no that's fine. Thank you for taking the time to call, Pipes. Really. It's so good to hear from you."

"Wish I [….] call more, but really can't."

"No, I get it, that's okay. You have a good day, you hear me? Enjoy your birthday. See if you can have some fun."

"[…] try. This has been good though […] made my […]-day."

"You look after yourself, Chapman. I need you back here in one piece for our drink."

"Date."

Alex smiles. "Okay, for our date."

"[…]-king forward to it, Al."

"Me too, kid."

"[…] going now."

"Okay."

"I'll write."

"You better."

"Bye, Al."

"See ya, Piper. Take care."

There's more static, another couple of clicks, then nothing. Dead air.

Alex remains seated in bed for a full minute with the phone pressed against her ear, listening to the nothing.

When she lies down again and tries to get back to sleep, it's the memory of Piper's voice that fills the silence in her head and she falls asleep with a smile curling her lips.


	11. Piper to Alex (4)

_Piper to Alex (4)_

Saturday, June 7

Dear Alex,

Hi. :)

I just got off the phone from speaking to you about thirty minutes ago and for some reason I can't stop grinning. There's a part of me that's really REALLY sorry for calling you at four in the morning and there's another part of me that can't get past just how CUUUUUTE you sound when you're sleepy! Totally cute, Al. No denying it.

I'm sorry about the shitty line. It's because it's a SatPhone and although in theory it's a brilliant invention, in practice it's kinda hit and miss. More miss than hit. Some of the other bases have fixed lines so they're pretty good, but because of where we're situated, there's no surrounding infrastructure and we have to work with what we have. Which isn't much. Still, it was good enough to let me hear your (sleepy!) voice for a few minutes, so I'm not complaining.

I'm so sorry that I haven't been able to write to you before now. I can't even tell you how busy we've been here. I've been pulling eighteen hour days, back-to-back-to-back. We've had minimal down time and when I have had a day off, I've been catching up on major sleep. It's a regular circus. The ringmaster has been seriously unhappy, the clowns have been having bigger arguments than usual and some of them have been pretty nasty. They've not been happy, and understandably so. Even your favourites, the fire jugglers, have been keeping their heads down. Sometimes it's safer that way.

You were asking what it's like here. So, other than busy, it's probably about what you'd expect. The worst summer camp ever. :)

Lots of khaki, lots of canvas, lots of moon-dust, lots of Marines. Some of the other bases have upgraded to CHUs, but we're still sleeping under canvas here. I share with five other nurses in a tent designed for four and it's cramped and cluttered and there's practically no privacy, but it's okay. Our tent has aircon, but it hasn't worked since the day we arrived. It's rare that all six of us are here together, shift work sees to that, but it's equally rare that I'm alone. I miss that sometimes, being alone. Sometimes it would be nice to just breathe, you know? There are twelve DFACs on the base here, so there's always somewhere to grab food whatever time of day it is. That's not been top of the list for the last couple of weeks though. Grabbing a bite to sleep has been the priority whenever I could.

My workplace sounds pretty different to yours. No antique oak desks and pretty art students here, I'm afraid. I work in a CSH that is again under canvas, but other than that it looks pretty much like any hospital you've ever been in. We have x-ray, a lab, pharmacy, theatres... and most importantly, fully functioning aircon. We operate a three level triage system, but we've had a lot of level ones in recently. It's been rough.

I think I told you already that we have a gym here? It's an outdoor gym and I try to avoid it, but it's here. We also have a small PX, a laundry and a chapel. It's a regular little city in the middle of nowhere. Most importantly, we have a small post office too. That's become my favourite part of the base this tour. :)

I had a letter from Polly this week, my first from her since I got here. She's brought me up to speed with all of the gossip from home that I really don't care about and totally forgot my birthday, but that's just standard Polly. :) She hates writing letters with an absolute passion, she mainly communicates via text message these days, so she hates it when I go away to someplace like this with no cell coverage. Texting is something that can be done any time, any place, whilst still doing other things, so it's perfect for someone like Pol who is the Queen of Multitasking. Letter writing takes time and effort and focus and I'm well aware of that, so I'm incredibly grateful to you for writing to me so regularly, even when I've been lax at replying. I can't tell you how much it lifts my spirits when I receive something from you. Genuinely, it makes my day.

I would love to see the bookstore you mentioned in one of your letters, the one close to your store. I can almost smell all of those books! They're such a rare commodity out here, the thought of spending some time in a place like that seems almost too good to be true. I haven't been able to start Moby Dick yet, time hasn't allowed it, but I'm so grateful to you for sending it. Sticking with the classics is fine by me, I'm happy to read just about anything that isn't related to insurgents and IEDs right now. I lie in my bunk at night and close my eyes and spend mental time in places far from here, the bookstore in Venice has been one of my regular travel destinations recently. That place is amazing and I had no idea it even existed. How do you even know about these places? I'm adding that one to my list too.

I can't believe you took a sneaky photo of the art student! She's quite pretty and there's a definite shortage of pretty around here where drab is the order of the year, but she's not really my type. I tend to go for tall, dark and gorgeous. Got any photos for me of anyone who fits that description? ;)

I've re-read the letter you sent me at the end of April so many times I can't even tell you. When I asked about your family, I had no idea that the answer would be so complex and… well, sad. I'm sorry for making you write all of that, Al. Really. I was so sorry to hear of the loss of your mom. The tremendous love you have for her came across clearly and I can't imagine what a horrendous time that must've been for you. I think you're absolutely right though, I'm certain she'd be proud of you and where you are with your life now. I also think that your choice of where you'd be if you could close your eyes and open them again elsewhere is perfect. I totally get it. It sounds like the relationship you had with your mom is the polar opposite to the one I have with mine, but your answer to that particular question is one I understand completely despite that.

Switching to nursing partway through college garnered a mixed reaction from my parents. My dad was surprised but understood my reasoning. My mom was horrified. She is of the belief that our family should not serve others, but have others serve us. (I'm not joking, I wish I was.) When I told her I was going to study nursing her initial reaction was that she thought I was joking. When I insisted that I was serious, she forbade me from doing it. When I explained that she couldn't do that, she encouraged me to "at least become a doctor". It's all about status with my mom. Nursing is way down her list of acceptable professions for a Chapman child. She has harboured some resentment about me becoming "just a nurse" from the day I graduated. I know that when people ask, she tells them that her daughter "works in the medical profession". When I told her I was joining the military, she nearly had a heart attack. I am pretty sure that there are people up in New Canaan who still have no idea that I'm in the military even now, five years in with the chest candy to prove it.

I don't mind at all your tales of going out on the town, by the way. On the contrary, I enjoy living vicariously through your adventures! It's considerate of you to think to ask, though, I do appreciate that, but no, it's all good. I'm not much of a party animal anymore, honestly, so I'm more than happy reading about somebody else's fun, even though on this occasion it does sound like your friend Janae had the most fun of all. Are you losing your touch, Alex? I don't believe it. Maybe when I'm home I'll redeem my voucher and we'll see if we can do something about that. ;)

I think that our phone call earlier clarified the terms of engagement for our arrangement to go out for a drink, although I like the not-so-subtle way you were angling to find out if there was a long-term girlfriend on the scene in my life. To be totally clear, there isn't. Or certainly not one with any romantic attachments anyway. There's Polly, but I don't think she's the kind of girlfriend you were meaning. :)

I'll be honest with you, I haven't had any kind of significant relationship since before I joined up. It's kinda hard to meet someone special when you're away as much as I am and also, who would be mad enough to start a relationship with someone they knew wasn't going to be around for large chunks of the year? Don't get me wrong, there've been hookups, but there's only so much space a one-night stand can fill. Empty sex doesn't fill the void inside that awaits a meaningful connection, you know? I wonder sometimes if being here, surrounded by constant reminders of death and devastation, brings that into focus for me. It wasn't anything I ever yearned for, that stable long-term commitment thing, but seeing the things I see every day, it kinda makes me realise what's important. Life is so short and I see it snatched away or changed forever every single day here. Life doesn't have to be perfect, but it has to be LIVED. All of it. Sometimes I think you just have to throw caution to the wind and jump in with both feet and seize the opportunities that come along with both hands. It's important not just to live but to thrive, to be passionate and compassionate and to strive for whatever makes you happy. We have to make the most of the time we're given because so often, it's far too short.

Oh, I don't know, Al. Maybe I'm talking shit and the stresses of the last couple of weeks are beginning to take their toll. It's like living in an alternate reality, being here. Like the only things that are real are the things that happen within the confines of this base, four metre high reinforced concrete walls contain reality and everything outside of here is an illusion. I don't know.

Ugh. Sorry.

I should go. I'm really tired and that's definitely catching up with me. I'm gonna run this letter over to the post office and get it sent, then I'm gonna come back to my bunk and crash for as long as I can get away with.

Please write soon. I enjoy reading about life outside of these walls. I enjoy reading about your life. It's good to be reminded of normality, it's what keeps me going.

Love,  
Piper  
x

ps: No photo because of lack of time. You cannot use the same excuse!


	12. Alex to Piper (9)

_Alex to Piper (9)_

Wednesday, June 18

Hey Pipes,

Thank you for your letter. I KNEW you would write after that phone call, so I've just waited instead of sending you lots of unanswered letters like some desperate-for-attention teen. It was a long letter, too! Thank you for that, I'm beginning to get a sense of just how bad things have been in the Big Top in recent weeks and I really do appreciate you taking time out from training the ponies to write to me. I understand if you don't get the opportunity to write, though. When the Ringmaster calls, you have no option but to answer. I get it. It's okay, so please don't apologise.

I still, almost two weeks later, cannot believe that you called me. I genuinely thought I was having a weird dream at first, then when I realised it was real, I was so stunned I could barely string a sentence together! Way to create a good impression, Al. I'm sorry if I sounded like a complete moron. The time of day combined with the surprise of hearing your voice meant I wasn't exactly on top form. So good to hear your voice though, Pipes. So good, really. I couldn't stop grinning all day. Or all the next day, either. I walked into Nic's bar on Sunday afternoon and she starting clapping me. I didn't know what that was about until she clarified that she was applauding me for "finally getting laid"! Apparently my happy-to-talk-to-Piper face looks very similar to my just-fucked face! Who knew?

I have to be honest, though. I kinda wish I'd lied to her and just let her think I'd gotten lucky, because when I protested my innocence and told her WHY I was smiling… man, she's given me such a hard time ever since! Then this past weekend, she has nagged and badgered and harangued me to allow her to take a photograph of me to send to you. She won in the end, but I swear she must have taken fifty photos of me before she ended up with one she was happy to let me send! Apparently I was standing wrong, or tilting my head weirdly, or grimacing not smiling, or not keeping still, or blinking (how would she know?!), or looking pissed off (I was, after twenty minutes of it!), or showing too much cleavage, or not showing ENOUGH cleavage, or looking too tall (WTF?), or just looking nothing like myself. So finally, after almost half an hour, she ended up with a photograph that she says is "acceptable, but you still look a little leprechaun-y. I'll do it in black and white and see if that makes you look better" and I'm enclosing it with this letter, for better or for worse. You now officially owe me one photo, Captain Chapman. After the trauma I went through, you probably owe me two! :)

So, your phone call and recent letter combined with my daily newspaper has, I think, allowed me to narrow down just where in the Midwest the circus is currently performing. Initially I'd thought the Big Top may have been pitched in Iowa, but now I think I may have been mistaken and it's somewhere in South Dakota. I'm glad to hear that the stable block does at least have working aircon, less pleased to hear about just how busy you've been. I don't know how you do it. Seriously, I'm in awe.

It's not often that I have to resort to Google to help me make sense of mail, you know. Your letter drove me to it though, with your CHUs and DFACs and CSHs. You know when you wish you hadn't Googled something, though? Yeah. That was me when I read about what a CSH is and where they're usually situated. Jeez, Pipes. At the risk of repeating myself, please take care of yourself. I'd be lying if I told you I didn't worry about you, even if it's not my place to do so.

It was nice to read that you've been spending mental vacations in some of the places I've told you about. The store around the corner is a place that I will absolutely take you to when you're home. The one in Venice? Maybe that's somewhere we can visit together at some point in the future. You gotta have goals, right? I'd love to travel one day. Maybe when the business is fully established and I reach a point in my life when I'm not such a control freak and can see myself handing the reins over to somebody else for a few weeks, maybe then I might allow myself time to travel and see some of the places I dream of. :)

Y'know, when I was a Nic's this past weekend, I had your most recent letter with me. She saw me reading it (again) when she was with a customer and when she came back to me she was absolutely DESPERATE to read it. I folded it up and pushed it into the back pocket of my jeans and that just made her even more determined to read it. She hasn't, for the record. I wouldn't allow it. But it's weird, Piper. Like I told you, I've known Nicky forever. She has been there for me through good and bad and knows everything there is to know about me. We have no secrets, never have had. But I would throw myself in front of a subway train before I let her read your letters to me. What the hell is that about? It's not even as if there's anything incredibly personal in them, but they are incredibly personal to me and there is something deep inside me that wants to keep them all to myself and not share them with anybody, not even Nicky. They're really special to me, Piper. I don't really fully understand it myself.

I have to say though, parts of your last letter definitely had a different tone than previous ones. I'd even go so far as to say that you were flirting with me, Captain Chapman. What would your mother say, if she knew you were flirting with the likes of me? She'd be horrified! Also, insulting… losing my touch? As if such a thing were possible. I'll show you, Chapman, just you wait. ;)

You'll be disappointed to hear that Little Miss Redhead has now finished her showing, packed up and shipped out again. It was pretty successful, she was thrilled, and now we move onto the next budding star of the art world. I have a half a dozen portfolios to sort through so I can choose who's going to get the space next month. Four guys, two girls. One of the girls, Skye, is twenty years old, has lilac coloured hair and a pierced septum. She's winning so far. No idea what her artwork is like! ;) I jest, I jest.

I have no exciting news to tell you, I'm afraid. Not even about Janae's love-life! Things are always busy at the store when we have art on show, we stay open until ten four nights at week to make sure the work has the greatest chance of exposure. That obviously eats into my social time, so I haven't got too much to share with you. Unless of course you want to hear about the weird dude who's been calling into the shop every week for the past month looking to buy books on Thai Cuisine. You ever see the film Notting Hill? Julia Roberts (hell yes I would hit that) and Hugh Grant. He runs a travel bookstore, selling nothing but travel books, but he has people calling in all the time wanting to buy the latest John Grisham thriller or something similar. Well this dude – I'm calling him Nigel, because he looks like a typical Nigel – keeps doing just that, but with Thai cooking. Every Tuesday for the past four weeks, he's been stopping by the store and asking for a book called "Hot Thai Kitchen". Every time I patiently explain that we specialise only in art and photography books, then a week later he's back again. Nicky reckons he's plucking up the courage to ask me out. I reckon if that's what he's doing, he's going about it in entirely the wrong way, because he's about two visits away from a restraining order, not a date!

It was interesting to read the part in your letter when you talked about empty sex versus meaningful connections. I read a book recently (fiction, don't worry) where somebody had discovered that everyone has a particular gene that they share with just one other person, the idea being that you're genetically matched with that person. That they're "the one". It's an interesting idea, but I'm not sure being able to send off a DNA swab to find your soul mate is the way I'd want to find mine. I like to think that if two people are destined to be together, they'll find each other anyway in time. There's an inevitability about it. I don't really know if I believe in fate and destiny and love at first sight, but I think that when you find that person, you just KNOW. You might not know what it is that you're feeling, but you'll know that there's something different about that person and from that point on, it's just a matter of time.

I think we're all searching for that meaningful connection, you know. Some people are lucky enough to find it, others go their whole lives without meeting the one person that makes them whole. I also think that sometimes, we don't know we're looking for it and then it just happens. We think we're happy in our own little lives, doing our own thing, hooking up and doing the empty sex thing and then BOOM. Just like that, everything changes, when the person you didn't even know you were looking for bursts into your life. That's what I believe. Now, anyway.

Okay. Today is now Thursday. I was writing this letter to you from my bed last night, but I quit when my eyes were closing against my will. So it's now Thursday, I'm sitting at my desk in the front of the store, I have a Spotify playlist, coffee (black, no sugar – how do you take yours?) and the morning stretching ahead of me. I've already watched a couple having a mini-meltdown at the coffee shop across the street this morning and watching them fight made me wonder if there really is something in that genetic matching theory after all!

It's a lovely early summer day here today. It's 10:30 and the temperature is already pushing eighty. That means of course that we're entering the season of short skirts and strappy tops. Bare legs and shoulders. I love New York in the summertime and my desk in the window with a perfect view of the street. :D

I promise you, Pipes, life outside the concrete walls of your camp is not just an illusion. It's real and it's right here waiting for when you come home.

I have plans this weekend. I'm heading out for dinner with an old friend on Saturday night, somebody I used to be close to years ago. I haven't seen her since my mom passed away, but I've recently reached out to her and now we're meeting up for dinner. It's a big deal. I want it to go well, but am apprehensive about it. We both have quick tempers and sharp tongues, so it could go either way. Watch this space…

Anyway, I'm pushing the limits of boring you to death now, so I should probably go and let you get back to patching up Marines. Let me know if there's anything you need, okay? I'm happy to put together an aid package of M&Ms and Reece's Peanut Butter Cups or whatever. Let me know what you want, babe. I'm happy to send out whatever you need.

I hope you're continuing to take good care of yourself and have been able to find a little time to rest up, too. Keep smiling, Pipes. Write when you can.

Love,  
Al.  
x

Ps: Iowa has 4 letters. South Dakota has 11. Same as some other places on the opposite side of the compass. Just sayin'.

Pps: I'm aware I called you "babe" in the second to last paragraph there. I did it without thinking. I was going to scribble it out, but then that would just draw attention to it. So I thought that rather than do that, I'd just mention it in passing here and we can both move on and pretend it never happened. Okay? Okay. Good. :)

 

Photo:


	13. Piper to Alex (5)

_Piper to Alex (5)_

Monday, June 30

Dear Alex,

How're you doing? I received your latest letter yesterday and am in the middle of three consecutive days of downtime so thought I should write back straight away while I have the opportunity. I have read and re-read your letter numerous times since yesterday and there are four particular parts I keep coming back to.

First: The photo.  
I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but I wish you'd sent me two of them. I've spent the best part of the last twenty-four hours looking at that photo, I don't mind admitting it. If there were two of them, I could put one up in my bunk and keep the other one in my pocket, but as there's only one I'm having to swap between the two. It's already starting to look a little dog-eared. I'm a little disappointed with the sunglasses that are hiding your eyes, but I can picture them in my mind clearly enough. You have very striking eyes, I remember them well. I don't think you look "leprechaun-y" at all, I think you look… ah. Yeah, never mind.

Second: "babe"  
The PPS in your letter made me laugh out loud, primarily because I hadn't even noticed that you'd called me that until your PPS drew my attention to it! I know I'm meant to be pretending it didn't happen and just moving on, but I'm not going to do that and there's not a thing you can do about it. I'm gonna focus right in on it and make you squirm. :) I think the reason I didn't notice it is because it didn't seem out of place. It seemed natural, somehow, but it does beg some follow-up questions. Is the word "babe" a colloquialism that you use for many of your acquaintances? Is it a term that you use for, say, the lady in the grocery store when she gives you your change? A quick "thanks babe" before you scoop up your shopping and leave. Is it a term you use for your friends? Is it a common moniker for Nicky, or Janae? Or is it a term of endearment? A name you give to people you're romantically involved with. I can't think of any other examples at the moment, so tell me… into which category do I fall, in order for you to bestow the name "babe" on me? :D

Third: "Now, anyway."  
Well now. Out of an entire letter, these are two words that jumped right off the page at me. It's when you were talking about that connection, the inevitability thing and what you believe. You finished that with the words "now, anyway", as in 'I never used to believe in all of this stuff, but I do now'. So my question is, why? What's changed?  
Shall I be honest with you? Shall I lay it all out there and tell you what I'm hoping the reason is for this? Or shall I say nothing and just keep on hoping? I think I'm gonna go for option two there. I may not have done, were it not for the fourth thing that caught my attention...

Finally: "heading out to dinner with an old friend"  
Hmm. This is interesting to me, but I think most interesting was my reaction to reading it. I'll tell you, Alex, it was like taking a punch to the stomach, reading those words. The whole paragraph really. It made me question myself, and you, and what it is we're doing here. I mean, we're sending these letters frequently, getting to know each other, building on something that I thought we shared when we met just before I left. Yeah, there's been some flirting – from both sides – and I think some unspoken stuff has been happening too, unless I've totally misread this, but I don't think I have. Or I didn't, until I read that part of your letter. Now I just don't know. All I know is that when I read that part of your letter it upset me. I don't like admitting that to you, but I believe that no relationship – be it friendship or something more – deserves anything less than honesty. I know it's ridiculous, I have absolutely no justification for feeling this way. It isn't like we even have anything going on. Now that I stop and think about it, we've clarified MY relationship status – hopelessly single – but we haven't clarified yours. I even know that your best friend is married, but I don't know about you. So I suppose I should be clarifying that, although even as I'm writing this, I think I know the answer because you really don't strike me as somebody who would enter into…

Fuck.

What am I even doing? I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm telling myself to shut up now. I'm doing the over-thinking thing that Polly has lectured me about for years.

Look, Alex. Here's the thing. I read that part of your letter and what I felt was jealousy. The thought of you reconnecting with someone who could potentially be an ex made me feel even further away from you than I actually am and really made me aware of how helpless I am to do anything about it. Because if I were there, I would want to do something about it. I would.

Going back to the photo thing? Beautiful. That was it. That was the word that finished the sentence that I didn't finish at the start of this letter. I don't think you look "leprechaun-y" at all, I think you look beautiful. Like, take my breath away beautiful. As I'm writing this letter, I have that photo propped up on the desk in front of me and it's painful, that's the truth of it, it's painful to be able to see you and not actually be there with you. I want to see you, to speak with you, to hear your voice and to tell you all of this in person, instead of spilling ink onto a page and hoping you get it. Hoping you understand what I'm saying and not saying and… ugh.

It's so bleak here, Al. It's unbearably hot and it's drab and everything is the same colour and dismal. It's all so joyless, that's the thing. There's a complete lack of joy here, there's a hopeless monotony. I spend my working hours trying to fix young men, a large proportion of whom will be forever broken. Sometimes we don't fix them at all and it's all so sad and soul destroying and never ending. Then in the midst of all of this gloom, there's you, Alex. You're the one bright spot in my life and I almost feel bad for bringing you into this desolate place.

I receive a letter from you and it's like your light permeates the darkness of this place. It gives me back a little bit of hope, it's a reminder that there is still beauty – and oh, what beauty – in this world and it's just outside these canvas and concrete walls. It's a plane journey away. It's so close and it's so real and hopefully, maybe, possibly it's attainable. Soon. One day.

Then I read that you're going out to dinner with an old friend, somebody you used to be close to, somebody you've recently reached out to. It's a big deal and you want it to go well and all I can think – selfishly, I know – is that Iwant to go out to dinner with you, I don't want you reconnecting with an ex, I want you to look forward and not back and I want you to see a future that hopefully, maybe, possibly has me in it.

But I'm here, in "South Dakota", seven thousand miles away and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. I have made sacrifices for this job, to serve my country, and I have never once felt resentment about that. It's an honour to serve, it's been my mission in life to do this and I have never regretted anything about it. Not once. But this, now, this is my regret. I regret that I'm not there to tell you all of this in person and I regret that I can't do anything to show you how much of an impact you've had on my life in just three short months and I regret that I can't do anything to stop you reconnecting with her because I'm here, and even as I'm writing this, I'm aware that you wrote to me almost two weeks ago so I'm talking about stopping something that's already happened.

Fuck. Again.

I'm going to go take a shower. Then I'm going to come back and I'm going to do one of two things. I'm either going to burn this letter and start afresh or I'm going to stuff it into an envelope and post you something real and honest.

* * *

Hey. Again.

So, ready for a dash of real and honest?

I'm sorry, Al. I'm having a rough day. Sometimes downtime isn't such a good thing as it gives me time to think and sometimes thinking isn't a good thing, because the shitstorm I've been dealing with is easy to deal with when you have no other option, when you don't have time to stop and reflect, you just have to deal. Reflecting brings things into focus that I'd rather remain blurred. I'm tired of seeing flag-draped boxes carrying home kids we weren't good enough for. That's the bottom line.

Sometimes, I just really, really need a hug.

I hope I haven't offended you with my unbalanced rambling in this letter. If I have, I genuinely and sincerely apologise. Can you cut me some slack? The circus isn't fun at the moment and it's taking its toll.

I still do really want you to write soon. I also hope your dinner with your friend went well.

Love,  
Piper  
x

* * *


	14. Alex to Piper (10) and (11)

_Alex to Piper (10)_

Monday, July 7

[written on the back of an 8x10 photograph of Alex and another, older woman]

Her name is Galina, but I call her "Red".  
She was my mom's best friend.  
I love her, but not like that.

Not like you.

I'll write properly this week.  
Breathe, babe.

A  
x

* * *

_Alex to Piper (11)_

Thursday, July 10

Hey, Piper.

Hopefully you've received my last piece of mail. I'm sorry I didn't write properly, I was literally on my way out of town on business – conference in Atlanta – when your letter arrived. I printed the photo out at one of those booths at LaGuardia and threw it in the mail before I boarded my flight.

So. How're you doing? You doing any better? Your last letter really took me by surprise and I've been worried about you, Pipes. I've also been feeling pretty shitty, because I had no idea when I said what I did in my previous letter about meeting up with an old friend that it would have that kind of effect on you.

The friend is Red, as I said on the back of the photo. She's known me since I was six years old, when my mom got a job working in a diner a couple of blocks from where we lived. Red also worked there and from day one, she and my mom hit it off and they remained friends right up until the end of her life. The day she died, when I found my mom and couldn't wake her, Red was the first person I called. Before I even dialled 911.

Red is the friend I met for dinner that weekend. The first time I've seen her in eight years.

I told you that my life went off the rails after I lost my mom. At that time, I was railing against the world and everyone in it. Red tried to help me, tried to keep me going straight, but I pushed against it and I pulled away and I said some things to her that I will regret until my dying day. I hurt her. I really hurt her and all she was trying to do was love me. I've come to realise over the past few weeks of writing to you that there are things that I need to address. I'm beginning to realise what's really important and what isn't. There's a balance I need to change in some areas of my life and the very first step I took in doing that was to reach out to Red a couple of weeks ago. She agreed to meet me for dinner. The first course was an apology, served up by me.

It went well. Bridges have been built. We caught up. We spoke about you, actually, quite a lot. She asked me if there was anyone special in my life and then told me that my smile gave me away before I could answer.

I don't know, Pipes. I'm with you on one thing, I wish you were here so I could talk to you in person. The problem with this whole letter writing thing is the delayed response. It isn't like a face-to-face or even telephone conversation where you get instant feedback, it's hard sometimes. You were very candid in your last letter, very open. I feel like I should give you the same in return, but it isn't easy for me because it makes me feel vulnerable. When you're having a real-time conversation with somebody, you can see their reaction to your words and you pick up on the non-verbal cues that tell you how what you're saying is being received. There's none of that when it's words on a page. It's like you're opening yourself up, laying yourself wide open to make a fool of yourself.

And yet you did that.  
I owe you the same.

First of all, no, you didn't offend me and secondly, please don't apologise for being so open with me. I should be the one who's apologising, for not being clear in my original letter about who I was going to dinner with. If I'd have had any idea that it would upset you, I would never have even mentioned it, let alone mention it with so few details.

Let's see now. Where to begin. Okay, relationship status: same as yours. Last serious relationship: lasted about a year and a half, ended four years ago. She wasn't good for me, but it took me eighteen months to realise that my friends were right. Last not-so-serious relationship: ended last year, lasted two months. Empty (but regular) sex, no connection. Sex can only sustain a relationship for so long before it becomes insufficient. You were right about my relationship status, the part you didn't finish in your letter. Yeah, you knew that I wasn't in a relationship because you're absolutely right, if I was, I would not be entering into the kind of conversation with you that I have been doing. When I'm in, I'm all in.

I've been thinking about what you said about what it is we're doing here. Writing these letters, flirting sometimes, getting to know each other. No, I don't think you're mistaken, I think there is something else happening, something neither of us has spoken about. I absolutely felt that shift in my universe when I first met you, Piper, we've been building on those foundations ever since. Yeah, on the surface, it's keeping in touch with someone far away, it's being friendly and supportive and we're making friends and blah blah blah, but it's more than that, we just haven't spoken about it. To each other, anyway.

I've spoken about it to Nicky, though. And Lorna. And also, more recently, Red. These are people who know me better than most anybody else. Nicky has a habit of laughing everything off and it can be hard sometimes to have a serious conversation with her. Lorna is a hopeless romantic, always has been, she's all hearts and flowers and Hello Kitty, so it's difficult for her to take an objective viewpoint on anything relationship related. Red, well Red's originally from Russia and has a habit of offering words of wisdom in the form of proverbs from her homeland and most of the time they're more like riddles. When I was telling her about you and how I feel about you, she dropped this pearl: "Eat bread and salt, cut the mother truth." Yeah, no, I have no idea what that means either.

So maybe we should be talking to each other about what's going on here. How about I start with "now, anyway". Yeah, that didn't pass you by, did it? I'm pretty sure you know very well what's changed, but as you asked, I'm going to spell it out for you. You, Piper. You're what's changed. I was content, you know? I have my own successful business, I own my own home, I have good friends, I'm not poor, I have a good work/life balance, I am not lacking in female company when I want it, life is good. I have everything I need and I'm happy. Then one night all of that changed when YOU walked through the door of Nicky's bar. On that very first night that I met you, I knew there was something different about you, I just didn't know what it was. By the time you left me on that Sunday, I knew. I knew that my life up until that point had been nothing, because you hadn't been a part of it. The letters we have exchanged since then have only proved to confirm this for me. I didn't think my life was missing anything, I thought things were going well and I was okay. I didn't know I needed anything else to make me feel complete, and then I met you.

When I said this to Red, she said: "When love whispers, the reason shuts up."  
That one makes more sense to me.

How about I answer your question about "babe", next? I can honestly say that I have never called the lady in the grocery store "babe". If I ever called Nicky that, she'd probably throat-punch me. Janae would think I was hitting on her. So I guess you must fall into the last category, huh? I didn't even think about it when I wrote it, that's what surprised me the most, that it just came so easily. It felt natural, yes, as a term of endearment. I've done it once more, on the back of the photo, but that time it was definitely deliberate.

I wish you were here so we could have this conversation in person. I wish I could take you out to dinner. I wish I could give you that hug that you said you need. I wish I could do that. I want to do that because, damn, your last letter almost broke me, Pipes.

Look, bottom line? I like you, a lot, and I'm glad you're a part of my life. It's really tough, you being in South Dakota and me being here, it's certainly not how most relationships start. But honestly? I think we could have something, Piper. I think we could have something special, you and I. I've never felt a connection with anyone like I do with you, I feel drawn to you and it's more than a little scary and I really don't know what do with these feelings. It's all new to me and it's weird and… ugh. Damn, I hate this, writing all of this down. How do you convey feelings on paper?

You're doing an amazing job over there, babe. It's bound to take its toll on you, you're not playing games. I can't imagine how tough it must be, particularly with the people who don't make it despite all of your best efforts. But all of the ones who do, Piper. Focus on them. Think about where they would be without the care and devotion from you and your colleagues. You're making such a positive difference and I am so damn proud of you I can't even tell you. Keep doing what you're doing and I will help you and support you as much as I can and when you're home, I will give you that hug you so desperately need. I will hold you for as long as you need me to. I promise.

I don't want you to have any regrets, Piper, no resentment or any of that negative stuff. You're amazing, you're talented and passionate and you're doing wonderful work and saving lives. There is nothing to regret about any of that. I'm here, okay? I'm here and I'm waiting for you to come home and I'm not going anywhere. I hear you, everything you said in your letter, I hear you loud and clear. I get it, okay? I get it, because I'm in this with you.

And like I said before, when I'm in, I'm all in.

Are you still thinking you might be home for Labor Day? That's less than eight weeks away now. I don't want to pin my hopes on that in case it doesn't work out and you were right with your Thanksgiving wager, but if it is Labor Day, that would be awesome.

You said in your letter about showing me the impact I have had on your life in three short months. You don't have to show me. This is a two-way street, kid. You have changed me in so many ways, good ways, and I totally get it.

Again, I'm sorry for the distress I caused you over meeting up with Red. Believe me when I tell you that my exes are exes for a reason and there is only one woman I'm interested in right now, only one woman who is constantly on my mind, only one woman who makes me feel like I'm falling, and falling, and falling, like I've never fallen before.

Are you gonna catch me, Pipes?

Love,  
Alex  
xo


	15. Piper to Alex (6)

_Piper to Alex (6)_

Monday, July 21

Dear Alex,

Hi. Thank you for your letter and the photo that arrived a few days before it. I really feel like I owe you a huge apology for my last letter and my meltdown. I'm not usually like that, I swear. I think the last few weeks of this circus all caught up with me and unfortunately, you bore the brunt of that. I think there might've been some PMS mixed in too. Can I use that as an excuse?

When I received the photo, I did something that I rarely if ever do – I burst into tears. I think it was a mixture of relief and foolishness and regret and hope and… I don't know. That other thing. That thing that we're not talking about because it seems mad to even mention the word because I've known you for four months and seen you in person for less than ten minutes and so how can that even be possible? You, though, you're braver than I am. The thing you wrote on the back of the photo? The "Not like you" part? That's when I burst into tears. That's when I realised for the first time that it can be possible and it's not just me who's feeling it. It felt like my heart swelled. God. The relief. The hope.

I wanted to write back straight away, but I made myself wait because you said you'd write properly and I thought I should wait in case I'd got it all wrong and was reading it wrong and I've already made a complete ass of myself having a meltdown on you, so I didn't want to make it worse. Then your letter arrived and I read it and I'll admit it, I cried again. Relief mixed with joy and that hope thing again.

Thank you, Alex. Thank you for making yourself vulnerable and putting yourself out there for me. I know that that's not an easy thing to do and I'm so grateful to you for taking that chance for me.

I have read that letter so many times. I read it every day. I read it when I wake, before I roll out of my bunk. I read it at night, the last thing I do before I sleep, and I read it in the daytime when the doubt creeps in again and the uncertainty starts to suffocate me. I read it and I breathe again and for a little while everything seems okay once more. I keep it with me all the time, even when I'm in scrubs and have no pockets. Then I have it folded and tucked into my bra. That's gross, isn't it. I don't even care. :)

Washington has started making vomiting noises now every time she sees me reading it. She's also been trying to find out who the "hot brunette" is in the photo "with your mom" pinned to the wall in my bunk. She still thinks "Alex" is a guy and I have no idea why she thinks Red is my mother! I haven't bothered correcting her. My life with her as my bunkie will be easier this way.

I'm glad your dinner went well with Red. It sounds like she is somebody you regret losing touch with so I'm happy you've reconnected, even if her words of wisdom make no sense at all! Do I take it you are planning on staying in touch with her again now? She's clearly important to you. I'm sure she's just as happy to be back in your life again as you are to have her. I'll bet your mom would be proud of you for making that step to build those bridges, I know I am. It can be hard to admit that you were in the wrong and then harder still to take the first step to apologise and put things right. I'm glad she accepted your apology and things are looking good again.

Things here at the circus have settled down again and the constant flow has eased. It goes like that sometimes. Peaks and troughs. We've had a new battalion of Marines arrive in the past week, replacing the guys who've been here since the turn of the year. Lots of fresh faces around and kids who think they're original when they hit on the only English speaking females within a three hundred mile radius. It's fun, watching them scurry back to their buddies with their tails between their legs when I turn them down with a not-so-subtle mention of my rank.

How are things going at the store? Has your "Hot Thai Kitchen" guy been back again? Do you really think he's plucking up the courage to ask you out, or does he just have no concept of a specialist bookstore? Is he cute? Do I need to worry? ;)

I received a letter from Cal this week, something that hardly ever happens. He was catching me up on what's been going on with mom and dad and telling me that he's finally made the decision to move out. I didn't think I'd live to see this particular day! I don't think my parents did either, it'll be interesting to see what happens next. The house is way too big for just the two of them, but the house feeds into my mom's status obsession – size is everything in her world - so I can't see her being too keen on downsizing. Dad has a small apartment in the city already, although mom insists on calling it " _daddy's pied-à-terre_ ", and I can see him spending more and more time there once Cal isn't at home anymore to help keep him sane.

I take my coffee the same as you do, by the way. Black, no sugar. Unless I'm going somewhere with shitty coffee, in which case I have something complex and wordy in order to mask the taste of the cheap beans. I'm something of a snob when it comes to coffee. Decent coffee is probably the material thing I miss the most over here. It's the little things, you know. I can get by without chocolate (other than once every month!) and candy, the home comforts stuff, but I really miss good quality coffee. How's the coffee shop across from you? Is it one of the chains that amaze me with their continued ability to stay in business given how poor their blends are, or is it an independent place with responsibly sourced fair-trade organic GM-free beans? There's no in-between, I've found. It's all or nothing when it comes to coffee.

We're still working towards Labor Day, yes. I have everything crossed that it won't change, but I've been here before and I'm not naive enough to believe everything we're initially told. I'll let you know as soon as it's confirmed. Whenever this deployment ends though, I know I'm going to be home for about three weeks before I have to report back, so hopefully we'll be able to catch up properly at some stage.

Dammit, look at me skipping around and being all formal. What I really mean, Alex, is that I'll be home for three weeks and I hope I get to spend a lot of that time with you. Most of it. All of it? I'm being pushy. See? Something else where there's no in-between. I'm either overly formal or too in-your-face. Sorry. Sorry, I'll try and chill.

I've just paused writing this to reread your last letter again. I agree with you, you know. The thing about thinking we could have something special? That connection? God, I hope it doesn't all fall apart when I finally meet you again. I hope that when we finally get to spend more than a few minutes together I don't drive you totally insane. That'd just be the worst.

It's not going to happen though, is it. I think we both know that. I think we both know that whatever this thing is, this connection, this feeling, it's not something that happens every day. I wonder if there really is something in that story you read about genetic matching? Surely not, but really, the way I feel when I receive a letter from you, the way I felt when I was able to phone you and hear your voice, the way I feel every time I close my eyes at night and think of you… it's like a thousand tiny explosions going off inside of me. It's not anything I've ever experienced in my life before and I know that whatever this thing is, it's coming from you and I want more of it. I need more of it. I'm not even sure how I've managed to survive up until this point without it.

I guess what I'm saying, Al, in answer to the last question in your letter is yes, I'll catch you. But only if you catch me too, because I've never fallen like this before either. It's exciting and it's fucking terrifying and it seems to me that it's all I ever wanted, I just never knew it before I met you.

I can barely wait to see you to claim that hug you promised me. I can almost feel your arms around me if I close my eyes and concentrate hard enough. I warn you, I don't think I'm ever going to want you to let me go.

Soon, yes? We'll go to dinner, we'll drink good coffee, we'll visit the bookstore, I'll use my voucher, you'll give me that hug. Soon.

With love,  
Piper  
xx


	16. Piper to Alex (7)

_Piper to Alex (7)_

Friday, July 25

It's approaching 4:30pm and Alex is in the store working when the electronic doorbell announces the arrival of another customer. She glances up from her desk and offers a small apologetic smile to the customer before holding up one finger and returning her attention to her phone call. She makes some notes on a legal pad in front her and does her best to hurry the call so she can see to the lady who is now patiently browsing the shelves while she waits.

When she ends the call a few minutes later, she looks up and notices the customer has wandered into the gallery area at the rear of the store. Alex stands and makes her way there, pausing for a moment before speaking as the woman browses.

"Sorry about that," she begins. "Usual late-Friday panic unfolding."

The customer half turns and offers her a smile. "That's okay, I'm enjoying browsing. This is some impressive work."

Alex looks around at the art on display and nods her agreement. "It is, it's by a young guy called Brad Hazleton. He's a student at NYSS. Your timing is perfect, actually. Tomorrow this all comes down and we make room for the next exhibitor."

"Oh, that's a pity," the customer replies "he's quite a talent. Are they all done in pencil?"

"They are," Alex confirms. "Last month we featured a student from NYAA, hers were mainly watercolours. Next month we have a kid from SVA with something completely different."

The customer nods and allows her gaze to drift back over the drawings for a moment, before startling as a sudden thought occurs to her.

"Oh! Here, this is for you."

Alex reaches out in a reflex action and takes hold of the cardboard cup that the customer is offering her, then she frowns and looks down at the cup.

"Black, no sugar, right?"

Alex's eyebrows raise in surprise, but before she can answer, the woman continues "I just hope it's still warm. I asked them to double-cup it for extra insulation as I knew it'd take me about twenty minutes to get here. Sorry about that."

Alex opens and closes her mouth, but no words come out. She is totally and utterly confused.

"It's from ' _Brooke's Beans_ ' in the Upper East. Best coffee in the entire city, according to Piper."

At the mention of Piper's name, a series of pennies tumble into place one after the other. Alex's gaze whips up to meet the other woman's eyes.

"Polly. You're Polly."

The other woman smiles and extends a hand. "I am. Hi, Alex. It's good to meet you."

Alex shakes the offered hand enthusiastically. "I knew you looked familiar, I just couldn't immediately place you. I'm sorry, you must think I'm really rude."

"Not at all," Polly replies. "The way I remember it, the couple of times I've been in the same room as you your eyes were well and truly fixed on my gorgeous blonde friend."

Alex has the decency to blush and replies "Well she _**is**_ gorgeous."

Polly's laugh comes quick and easy. "Funny, she says the same about you."

Both women smile and Alex's blush deepens.

"Come, sit. Please, sit down." Alex moves back toward the front of the store and pulls out a chair beside her desk for Polly before retaking her own seat.

"I had a letter from her just this morning," Alex opens the top drawer of her desk a couple of inches and Polly glimpses paper with Piper's familiar handwriting on it before Alex slides the drawer closed again. "She went on a big rant about coffee in it and about being a coffee snob and asking about the store across the street."

"Sounds like Piper," Polly smiles. "Has she given you her lecture on store-bought versus dockside lobster yet?"

"Umm, no, not that I recall..."

"It's coming. Don't say I didn't warn you. For the record, get in early with a statement about dockside being far superior and you'll save yourself about twenty minutes of pain."

Alex smiles and offers a word of thanks, before sipping her surprisingly good coffee.

"So, Piper emailed me on Wednesday. I nearly passed out. She _**never**_ emails when she's away. You've made quite the impression on her, you know."

"Is that right?"

"Mmmm. _Quite_ the impression."

Alex wets her lips before looking Polly in the eye. "Are you here to warn me off? Because you should know that you're wasting your breath. There's something about Piper that is really very special, it doesn't matter what you say, it won't scare me off. That girl is my destiny, I just feel it."

Polly's eyebrows raise and she tilts her head to the side slightly, studying Alex as she speaks.

"Wow, your destiny, huh?"

"Well I don't know if I really believe in destiny if I'm being totally honest, but one thing I do believe is that she and I share a connection like no other I've ever experienced."

"Like she's your soul mate?"

"Yes. Like that. Exactly."

"Because that's how she described _you_ to me."

Alex is a little taken aback. "She did?"

"Yeah, in the email. Which is why I'm here. Not to warn you off or anything like that, but I was asked to give you good coffee and this..."

Polly reaches into her bag and brings out a rectangular parcel, covered in plain brown paper. She places the parcel on Alex's desk and pushes it gently towards her.

"It isn't from me, it's from Piper. I'm just the messenger, her PA if you will. There's a note inside too, in my handwriting, but the words are hers and I've just copied them out as instructed."

Alex reaches out and touches the parcel with the tips of two of her fingers. "Thank you," she murmurs, looking at the package.

Polly rummages inside her bag again, before removing an envelope. "She also said I was to find a photo of her where she looks – and I quote - ' _super cute_ ', and give it to you. She said to tell you she can't send one because she has no camera or way of getting it to you, so I'm to give you this."

Polly passes the envelope over and watches as Alex turns it over in her hands and begins to peel back the flap.

"She would kill me if she knew I'd given you this photo, but seriously, if you're having a photo of Piper you want a photo of the _real_ Piper, right?"

Alex slides the photo from the envelope and looks at it, a huge grin spreading over her face.

"Oh, this is stellar."

Polly laughs quietly as Alex studies the photo of her best friend unconscious on the floor of a bathroom, arms wrapped around the toilet bowl, her dress hitched up on one side to reveal one ass cheek. Piper's mouth is open and a string of what Alex hopes is only drool trails across her cheek and down to the tiled floor.

"Don't let her fool you that she was a good girl in college," Polly says with a mischievous grin.

"Well now I certainly have the evidence to prove otherwise!" Alex is laughing, unable to tear her eyes away from the photo in her hands.

"And don't ever buy her bourbon."

"Duly noted," Alex chuckles.

Polly leans forward and places another photograph on Alex's desk, this one face-down. "This is a photo I took on the Saturday before she left," she begins, her voice a little softer. "It's the most recent photo I have of her. I snapped it on my phone because I thought she looked so natural and relaxed and happy in it. I had it printed out this afternoon. I think it fits the ' _super cute_ ' requirement nicely."

There's something in Polly's voice that makes Alex's forehead crease. She slides the photo slowly towards the edge of the desk before lifting it and turning it over.

The photograph is in colour and of surprisingly good quality. It's a candid shot, taken without Piper's knowledge and shows her seated at a bar, a tray of drinks beside her. She's leaning forward slightly, a glass in her hand raised as if in a toast. There's a soft smile on her face that's mirrored by Alex's, whose gaze she's holding in the photo. Both women oblivious of everything around them except each other.

Alex just stares at the photograph, speechless. Polly remains quiet beside her. Alex looks at the photograph until her vision begins to blur as her eyes fill with unbidden tears.

"Thank you," she whispers.

Polly nods, then reaches out a hand to cover Alex's. She squeezes it gently.

"You may not be one hundred per cent certain about ' _destiny_ ' but I am," she murmurs. "They say a picture is worth a thousand words, Alex. This one proves it."

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Alex is alone in the shop once more. Polly left with an assurance that they'll see each other again soon and Alex is seated behind her desk again, holding the photo of herself and Piper in her hands.

She remembers the moment; they were toasting to "new friends" but even then, she had an inkling that a friendship would just be a starting point. As she looks at the photo now, it's clear to her that even then, there was something more than friendship in the way they looked at each other.

Alex lets out a long, slow breath and places the photograph on the desk. She pushes her chair back and half-stands, pausing in her movement to lock the door and close the store for the night when her attention is caught by a forgotten package wrapped in plain brown paper. She sits again and picks up the parcel left by Polly, turning it over in her hands slowly before unwrapping it.

It's a book.

A brand new copy of _Hot Thai Kitchen_ by a lady with a name Alex can't pronounce.

Alex laughs quietly as she recognises the title, then opens the cover. Inside is a piece of paper with unfamiliar handwriting. She remembers Polly's statement that it's "in my handwriting, but the words are hers and I've just copied them out as instructed".

_Friday, July 25_

_Al,_

_Next time he comes in, give him this and tell him not to return.  
_ _Tell him you're taken. Tell him you're mine._

_I'm all in.  
_ _I love you._

_Pipes.  
_ _x_


	17. Alex to Piper (12)

_Alex to Piper (12)_

Sunday, July 27

Hey beautiful.

How're you doing? You don't need to apologise to me for having a "meltdown". You're allowed to have feelings you know and really, if you're going to meltdown on anyone, better it be me than one of the new Marines who are trying to get in your pants. I'm sure they're scared enough already without having a crying Captain Chapman to contend with. ;)

That part of your letter made me laugh, thinking about all of those hopeless boys thinking they stand a chance with you. I can almost picture it, them plucking up the courage to approach you, practising their best lines and you reminding them they should be saluting you. Feel the burn!

It's Sunday today, so as usual I'm sitting in Nicky's with my coffee catching up on what's been going on this week. Sunday afternoons are my favourite time in this place, it's pretty quiet and the customers are mainly relaxed and friendly, just looking for a quiet space to chill. Very different to the evening crowd. Nic has to keep disappearing to serve customers and that gives me the chance to write to you. I went out with Lorna last night, we went to the Highline to see Sarah… somebody. I can't remember. A singer, anyway. A singer who Lorna LOVES but who Nicky flat out refused to go and see because "I don't do that sappy girly shit", so I was roped into being Lorna's date for the night instead. Because I so do the whole sappy girly thing. Obviously. (I'm rolling my eyes now, just so we're clear.)

Anyway, the gig wasn't too bad. Whoever that Sarah chick is, she can definitely sing. I've done worse favours for Nic, that's for sure.

Yesterday was pretty busy at work because the latest exhibition finished so there was a lot of packing up to do. I didn't go with Skye with the septum piercing this time around, I chose a guy called Brad from NYSS instead. Another kid with huge talent. His work, all done in pencil, really captured the imagination. It was probably the most popular exhibition of the year so far.

In answer to your question, the coffee shop across the street is an independent. It's called _Screamin' Beans_. It's run by two Italian guys, Marco and Luca. For the first six months after they opened, they told me their names were Mario and Luigi, and I believed them! It was only when I was talking to Nic about them one night and told her their names and she cracked up laughing and explained it to me, that I realised they'd been having a joke – at my expense. I went out the next day and bought them a framed Super Mario Bros poster and gave it to them. They still display it in the store today. :) Up until very recently, I thought they served the best coffee in the whole of the city.

It's been an interesting week. I worked in the bar on Monday and Tuesday because Drew called in sick and Nicky was desperate. I met Red for lunch on Wednesday, so that was good. We're seeing each other again next week too, I'm thinking a weekly lunch might be becoming a regular thing and I'm good with that. Thursday I spent the day interviewing for a new assistant for the store and ultimately offered a job to a kid named John who's been a regular customer here over the past couple of years. He graduated last year and is going on to study for an MA part-time, so I'm more than happy to support him with a job while he does that. He was easily the best applicant, he lives and breathes art and he brings just the kind of passion I want to see in my employees. I already employ three others, all part-time, but with John on board too I'm hoping I may be able to take more of a step back when I have other pressures on my time. I may even be able to take a vacation, I hear Venice is nice in the fall…

Nic says hi, by the way. She said to tell you that the Mario and Luigi thing wasn't a one-off (it was, I swear!) and she said the singer I saw last night is called Sarah Barrellys (we think that might be how you spell it but we're only guessing) and that Lorna would leave her for Sarah given the chance. Who could blame her? Nicky's a slob. ;)

Let me think now, what else happened this week that I can catch you up on?

Well, on Friday I realised that the Super Mario Bros had been duping me and they only brew the second best coffee in the city. This was unexpected news, delivered from a very unexpected source. But then, I guess you know that already, don't you…

I cannot believe you made Polly bring me coffee! Oh my God, Piper, that was such a shock. I didn't even recognise her at first, she must think I'm really fucking ignorant. We were standing talking about Brad's art when all of a sudden she turned to me and handed me a cup of coffee. I didn't know what the hell was going on. When I realised, I didn't know what to say. Seriously, that doesn't happen often. I think I said something scintillating and intelligent, like "Polly. You're Polly." - doh!

She stayed maybe a half hour or so before she had to get home as she and Pete were going out for dinner that night. She's really nice, Pipes, I can see why you and her are such good friends. She has a knack of putting people at ease in her company, within a few minutes it was like talking with an old friend, not somebody I'd only just met for the first time. It was helpful that we share a common interest – that being you – and as you've become my favourite thing to talk about recently, that made things much easier.

She told me you'd emailed her and asked her to come see me. Told me she'd been given instructions on what she had to do and say. She brought me a couple of photos of you too – thank you for that – and one of them is absolutely beautiful. She told me you hadn't seen this photo, so I've had a copy made and am enclosing it with this letter. Apparently she took it on her phone on the Saturday before you left. I'm not sure what your reaction will be when you look at this photo, but I'll admit that I may have shed a tear when I saw it. I just couldn't find any words for the longest time.

Whatever it is, Pipes, this thing that we have going on, this connection… whatever it is, I think it's visible in that photo. My heart beats faster just looking at it.

She also left me a parcel that I didn't open until after she'd left. I'd forgotten about it, honestly, after she gave me the photo. I just couldn't stop looking at it. When I finally remembered and tore open the paper, I couldn't help laughing when I saw what it was. Where did she even get that from?! I stopped laughing when I opened it and saw the note she'd been told to leave, though.

I will absolutely give Weird Guy the book when he next comes into the store. I will tell him that although it's not the usual kind of thing we sell it was sourced especially for him by my girlfriend. I may even show him a photo of the two of us together – I do have one in a frame on my desk after all.

You did it, didn't you Pipes? You went there. You used the word that we've both been avoiding. There's really no need to avoid it though, because it's there for all to see, clear as day, in the photo Polly took. It's in our eyes. There's no hiding it.

I'm happy you're all in, babe. I've been in for a long time now. You and me, we're meant to be, I'm certain of it. I can't wait to have you home again. I can't wait to tell you these things in person. I can't wait to see you, to touch you, to hold you. I can't wait to kiss you, to feel your lips on mine. I want to hold your face in my hands and press my lips against yours, I want to savour the sensation and the taste of your mouth against mine. I want to breathe your breath and have you fill my senses. You overwhelm me already, Piper. I'm not sure I'll be able to survive actually having you here. But I want it. I want _you_ , so very very much.

I love you too, Pipes.

All in,  
Alex.  
xo


	18. Piper to Alex (8)

_Piper to Alex (8)_

Thursday, August 7

Dear Alex,

Hey, you. I honestly can't tell you how big my smile gets whenever I receive a letter from you. It continues to brighten my days in this dark place. I check every day if I have mail, even when I know it's unrealistic to expect anything as not enough time has passed since I wrote to you, but I can't help it. Then when I see a letter from you waiting for me, I get so excited. I'm like a kid at Christmastime!

I ran through a whole list of emotions when I read your most recent letter. It made me laugh out loud, it made me green with envy, it made me grin with glee, it made me beam with pride, it made me cry, it made my heart swell, and ache, and burst.

The laughing out loud came from your tale about Mario and Luigi. Really, Al? REALLY? You didn't ever think they may have been joking with you? I can just imagine Nicky's reaction when you told her their names, I'm betting mine would have been the same as hers. I'm laughing now, just recalling it again! It's nice to laugh, there isn't too much of it around here. We try, obviously, we try to stay buoyant and to support each other, we joke and we poke fun and as nurses, we have a notoriously dark sense of humour anyway, but it's strained sometimes, you know? Like, forcing a smile and manufacturing a laugh because it's the right thing to do. To be able to laugh genuinely and with abandon is such a rare and valuable thing and I am so grateful to you for bringing that to me, even if it is at your expense!

The envious thing is about that concert you went to with Lorna. Despite your atrocious spelling, I think I managed to work out that you went to see Sara Bareilles and I am seriously jealous! I LOVE her and I have done since about 2007, but I've never been fortunate enough to see her play live. I am so so jealous, Alex, and also a little bit annoyed that you got to go see her and you totally didn't appreciate the greatness. "The gig wasn't too bad" is hardly a glowing endorsement! It was wasted on you, wasn't it? Please tell Lorna that next time she has tickets to see her, I am volunteering right now to be her date for the night. Even if I'm posted overseas at the time, I will go AWOL in order to go with her and I may even put out at the end of the night if she needs me to! ;) You seriously need to download her back catalogue, Al. She's amazing, honestly. I love her. I have all of her stuff on my iPod and I listen to her so much. Actually, if you're going to download some of her stuff, start with a song from her album 'The Blessed Unrest'. It's called "I Choose You" and I think when you hear the lyrics you'll know why I chose that song in particular.

The glee came when I pictured your reaction when you realised the woman in your store was Polly. I had to queue for three whole hours to send her the email asking her to do this for me, so I was so happy when I received your letter. It seems Pol carried everything off to a tee, I owe her big time now. :) I can just imagine the look on your face when you realised it was her. I had no idea that the photo she gave you even existed, it was an inspired choice on her behalf. Thank you so much for sending me a copy, I couldn't stop looking at it when I opened your letter. I was initially shocked and then, I don't know, a little awed when I saw it. Does that make sense? You're absolutely right about the look that we're sharing, but added to that, damn, you look so fucking HOT in that photo, Alex. Seriously. You look… guh. Let me just say that as soon as Washington got off shift, I thrust the photo in front of her said "THAT is Alex. Right there. That's Alex who you've been giving me shit about." I'm not certain that's the usual way to come out to your workmates, but I couldn't help myself and for what it's worth, Washington thinks you're "super fine" and "hot as molten fuckin' lava" and wants your number and I am absolutely definitely NOT giving it to her. :D

I have the photo pinned to the wall of the tent next to my bunk. It's the last thing I see when I turn out the light and you're the last thing I think of before I slip into sleep. Reading your letter though, the last part, where you describe what you want to do when I'm home… the way you describe kissing me, holding my face, breathing my breath… oh, Al. When I read that I was lying in my bunk and I was glad that I was. My stomach flipped over and I felt a… a warmth, shall we say… that I haven't felt in quite some time. I slept well that night, a little better than usual, certainly more relaxed. Thank you. ;)

The days seem even longer here now, I think it's because I have something worth coming home for. When I left, I didn't particularly have anything to look forward to, now I have you and it's making the days and weeks drag. We still haven't had a date confirmed for the end of this deployment. The rumours around here are the worst and nobody really knows what to believe. With the recent arrival of the new Marines, there are some that think we may be swapped out earlier, but I've never known that to happen so I think it's probably just wishful thinking. If it's Labor Day, then that's less than a month away now, but I'm not building my hopes up. If I set an end date in my mind and then that passes without me leaving this place, it will be too hard to bear. I'm better off not setting a target date and just being grateful when we finally board that plane home, whenever it is.

I was really proud when I read about how successful your store is becoming and you employing more staff. Not only are you a successful independent retailer, but you are also a source of employment within the community. That's awesome, Al. I'm so proud of what you're doing can tell just by the way you write about your work that it means a lot to you. I'm happy you're happy with your continued success. You're amazing.

I'm glad Polly was able to get hold of a copy of that book for Weird Guy. I have no idea what she'd have put the note into if she wasn't able to find it! The whole plan would have fallen apart. I'm sitting here now wondering if he's been back into the store yet and whether you've been able to give it to him and whether or not you really actually do refer to me as your girlfriend when you talk about me or whether that was just an errant slip of the pen. It made me smile when I read that and I got a little fluttery feeling in my stomach again. I am both anxious and excited at the prospect of seeing you again. A little bit scared, too, if I'm totally honest. I'm just hoping it won't be awkward and the connection we had, and have carried on through these letters, continues when we finally meet again.

Stop thinking, Piper. Stop stop stop! I will overthink this to the point that I become too frightened to actually meet you again, I know I will. It's ridiculous, considering where I am and the risks we encounter each day here – sometimes far too close for comfort – but you've become so important to me, Al. I just want everything to be good. Better than good.

I better go. I'm due on shift in thirty minutes and judging by the chopper activity over the past hour, I think it's going to be a busy one. Please write soon, your letters are so important to me and I count the days between their arrival.

Take care of yourself, Alex. Not long now.

Love you,  
Pipes.  
x


	19. Alex to Piper (13), (14) and (15)

_Alex to Piper (13)_

Friday, August 15

Dear Piper,

Hey, babe. How're things going? I received your letter on Wednesday and usually try to reply the same day when I can, but it's taken a couple of days this time. It's Friday night now and Nic wanted me to help out at the bar, but I bailed. I told her I had some paperwork to attend to that couldn't wait. That's kind of the truth, right? I mean, I'm writing on paper, so…

You doing okay? Still taking care of yourself? Hopefully it's not going to be too long now before you get to come home and when you do, you have three weeks of being wined and dined to look forward to. I have to try and make a good impression in person, you see, have to make sure I treat you right to keep you interested. Or maybe not wined and dined. Maybe just three weeks of hanging out and getting to know each other. I like that idea too.

I'm in my apartment above the store as I write this. I'm sitting in the window overlooking the street and can see people coming and going, stopping off for coffee at Screamin' Beans, hurrying home from work or starting their evening out. I just watched a couple walk hand-in-hand along the street, they paused to look in the window of the vintage clothes store a few doors down from here, then continued past. They were talking and smiling as they passed. They looked happy and "normal", ya know? I felt irrationally jealous of them. I want that too. I want that with you. I want to wander through the Village with you, holding your hand, laughing with you, kissing you when I feel like it. Or when you do.

Sometimes I can kid myself that you're just "at work" and I'll see you in a few short hours and that helps me to get through the most difficult times, but then I don't see you, and the disappointment hits even harder somehow.

I don't know, Pipes. I'm sorry. I'm just having a tough day. I miss you and wish you were here every day, but some days that pain of missing you is more acute than others and today is one of those days.

Really, more than anything right now, I'd just like to pick up the phone and be able to call you and say hi. I've heard your voice a total of four times. I'd give anything right now to make it five.

I'm having a tough day, kid. I'm ready for you to come home now.

Love,  
Alex.  
xo

* * *

_Alex to Piper (14)_

Sunday, August 17

Dear Piper,

I wrote you a letter two nights ago. I dropped it in the mail yesterday morning and now I'm really regretting it. I am so seriously pissed off with myself for mailing it to you. If you receive two letters at the same time and this is the first one you're reading, please do me a favour and don't open the other one. If you've already read it, I'm so so sorry babe. I was having my own little pity party on Friday night and for some reason I let it out on you. I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry.

I realise how fortunate I am, being here in my comfortable apartment, above my comfortable business, living my comfortable fucking life and meanwhile, you're there in South fucking Dakota doing what you do which is the polar opposite of what I do and about a billion times more important in the grand scheme of things and I sent you a whiny little letter like a whiny little bitch and I realise how totally insensitive and inappropriate that is. I wish I hadn't done it. I'm sorry, Pipes. I mean it, I really am.

When I write to you I try, as best as I can, to keep things light and tell you about my friends and my days and my store and… you know, everyday stuff. I want my letters to be a distraction for you, I want them to bring a different mood in to that place you describe as bleak and joyless, I don't want to add to it.

I'm gonna go and, like, listen to The Polyphonic Spree or something. In fact, I'm gonna send everyone on your base a Polyphonic Spree CD, because it's hard to be down when you listen to 'It's The Sun'. In fact, it's impossible. Now I think about it, I think I could truly end all unrest and upset throughout the world just by making it a law for everyone to listen to it at least twice a week. When I rule the world, Pipes, that's gonna be my first diktat, just you wait and see.

Until then, I have a store to run. The new guy, John, seems to be working out well. I definitely made the right call with him, he's already stepping up and taking on some of the responsibilities that I've always dealt with, so it's nice to be able to take a little more of a backwards step and focus on other things. Like my bathroom. On a whim last week, I decided to get it remodelled. What this means in practice is that I currently have to go round to Nicky and Lorna's to shower every morning as I have a construction site at one end of my apartment right now where a bathroom used to be. It should all be finished by Wednesday and I cannot wait. I'm having a freestanding clawfoot roll-top bath (big enough for two, jus' sayin') and a shower with one of those rainfall shower heads that I always find in nice hotels. It should be pretty sweet when it's finished, I just want it finished NOW.

Anyway, yeah. Ignore the other letter.  
If you can use PMS as an excuse, I can too. ;)

Take care of yourself, kid. Write soon.

Love you,  
Al.  
xo

* * *

_Alex to Piper (15)_

Tuesday, August 19

[written inside the front cover of _Rumi - The Book of Love: Poems of Ecstasy and Longing_ ]

Piper,

Rumi said:

"There are lovers content with longing.  
I am not one of them."

I'm with Rumi.

Love you,  
A.  
x

* * *


	20. Piper to Alex (t2)

_Piper to Alex (t2)_

Friday, August 29

It's 3:20pm. Alex returns to the store and throws a greeting to John before sitting at her desk and pulling her phone from her bag.

"Everything okay?" she asks as she reaches for her charger and plugs the phone in. "Damn thing died on me on my way to the meeting, I hate being out of touch like that."

"All's well," John replies. "We've been pretty busy, lots of students in today."

Alex watches the dark screen of her phone, waiting for it to have enough juice to turn back on. "It's that time of year. People getting ready for the start of the Fall Semester."

"You had a couple of calls, no name, said they'd try your cell."

Alex huffs and places the still dead phone on her desk. "Which'd be great, if it wasn't a brick right now."

"I said you should be back after about three-thirty, so I'm sure they'll call back if it's important."

Alex nods. "Yeah, true enough. Did you get the chance to look through the applicants for the next exhibition?"

John begins to answer, but Alex's attention is diverted to her phone as it vibrates on the desk. The display shows two missed calls with no caller ID and one voicemail message.

"One sec," she says as she hits the button to listen to the message and raises the phone to her ear.

_Hey Al, only me._

Alex sits bolt upright in her chair as she hears Piper's voice.

_I've tried to call you a couple of times, but clearly you're not there. Or are avoiding me. Are you avoiding me?_

Her eyes widen as she listens and she shakes her head vigorously. Pointlessly, but vigorously.

She hears Piper's soft laugh, then her voice as she continues.

_You can't be sick of me already, surely, I've only seen you three times! Um, anyway, I got your letters and the book – the book is beautiful, thank you so much - but you said you wanted to hear my voice, so… yeah. Here I am. Hi."_

Alex breathes the word "Hi" in response and closes her eyes, resting her forehead against her fist.

" _I'm sorry I didn't get to speak with you. I hope you're doing better. I'll be in touch, okay? Take care, Al. Love you."_

The message ends and a recorded voice starts to speak instructions on which buttons to press to replay, save, or delete the message.

"Fuck," Alex mutters quietly. Then louder, frustrated, " _FUCK!_ "

John looks at her in surprise. "Everything okay?"

"God fucking dammit!"

John begins to approach but stops when Alex hits a button and raises the phone to her ear again, replaying the message. She leans back in her chair, her eyes closed and a frown furrowing her brow as she listens to the message twice more.

"Alex?" John's voice is quiet and holds a note of concern.

Alex sits up again, shaking her head. She taps the button to save the message and stands, her eyes stinging.

"Hey, you okay?" John asks softly.

She shakes her head again and swipes at her eyes then throws her phone on the desk. "Coffee," she replies gruffly. "I'm gonna grab a coffee."

"Do you want me to..." but before John can finish his offer of getting her a drink, Alex is gone, out of the door and across the street.

She is muttering under her breath as she crosses the road and heads into the coffee shop. There's a queue and she takes her turn, hands stuffed into her pockets. It's been almost three months since she last spoke to Piper and then finally she manages to get hold of a SatPhone and she misses the call. Three calls. Maybe more, as the thought occurs to her that maybe the couple of calls that came into the store were from her too.

She is angry, at her phone for dying and at herself for not having charged it fully the previous evening. She's also bitterly disappointed, both at missing the call but also because clearly Piper received the pity party letter she sent and she still hasn't forgiven herself for sending it in the first place. She knows how difficult it is for Piper to even _access_ a phone and is angry at herself for having worried Piper so much she felt she had to go the extra mile to try and get in touch.

She's pulled from her thoughts by fingers clicking in front of her face. "Earth calling Alex, come in Alex."

"Hey Luca, sorry, I was miles away."

"No problem honey. What can I get you? Usual?"

"Yeah, with an extra shot please."

Luca busies himself making the coffee, but keeps glancing over at Alex. When he brings her coffee over, he slides the takeaway cup towards her but doesn't let go of it.

"You okay?"

Alex nods and pulls out a ten dollar bill.

Luca ignores it. "You sure?"

Alex lets out a quiet sigh. "I'm okay. Just missed a phone call earlier that I wish I hadn't."

"From her? From GI Jane?"

Alex smiles a little at the nickname. "That obvious?"

"When it comes to her? Always." He smiles as Alex's cheeks colour slightly, then speaks a little softer. "Good things come to those who wait, sweetheart, remember that."

Luca releases his hold on the cup and allows Alex to take it. He waves away the money that she offers again.

"This one's on me. Enjoy."

Alex thanks him and makes her exit from the shop, heading back over the road once more. She takes a sip of the coffee and enters her own store and moves back to her desk.

She can hear John in the gallery in the back, describing some of the work on display to a customer. She opens her laptop and starts to work through her email. John comes back into the main shop space a few seconds later.

"Ah, you're back," he says. "You had a visitor. I said you wouldn't be long so she decided to wait."

Alex is only half-listening, her attention on the screen in front of her. "Oh yeah?" she asks, without looking up.

"Yeah, I said as I've waited almost six months already, another five minutes wouldn't kill me."

Alex freezes and her hands grip the edge of her desk. She is almost too scared to look, too scared this is her imagination playing tricks on her. Too scared to look and be disappointed. Yet too scared not to.

She turns her head to the left very very slowly and sees John, grinning. Standing beside him, in full Army Combat Uniform and with a large duffel over her shoulder, is Piper.

Alex stares. She doesn't move a muscle.

"P-piper?" she stammers, her voice unsteady.

Piper looks at the man beside her and when she speaks her voice is quiet. "John, it's been a pleasure meeting you, but would you mind giving Alex and I little space?"

John immediately snaps to attention. He nods once and replies "Yes ma'am," then moves toward the front of the store. He swipes his jacket from a chair and a set of keys from Alex's desk.

Without another word, he moves to the door, knocks off the switch that controls the lights along the shop frontage, flips the sign on the door from 'Open' to 'Closed' and exits, locking the door after him with Alex's shop keys.

Alex is still staring wordlessly at Piper. Piper, wearing her ACU trousers and matching combat jacket with an upturned mandarin collar. Her combat boots are tan in colour and still carry the dust of the desert in the seams and the eyelets and the weave of the laces. She's wearing her patrol cap, her hair tied back into a loose ponytail.

Piper takes one small tentative step towards her. She lowers her duffel to the floor and it lands with a dull thud, breaking the deafening silence.

"Alex?"

As if broken from her trance by the sound of Piper's voice saying her name, Alex suddenly stands from her desk, knocking her chair over backwards in her haste. In four long strides she reaches Piper and her arms immediately move around her, holding the slightly shorter woman against her. Piper's arms wind around Alex, her fingernails digging into the soft fabric of her blouse as she holds on fiercely.

Neither woman speaks. Alex's face is buried in Piper's neck and Piper rests her head on the front of Alex's shoulder.

Time passes. Neither of them move. They stand still, clinging to each other in silence. Silent tears fall from both of them.

Eventually, Alex loosens her hold slightly and allows her arms to slide from Piper's body. She moves her hands to the other woman's face, holding it gently, a palm against each cheek. They look at each other, unspoken words passing between them before Alex closes the gap that separates them and presses her lips softly against Piper's.

It takes only moments for the kiss to deepen, Piper's lips part the instant she feels the softness of Alex's tongue touch them and one of them moans, but neither is sure who. Alex breaks the kiss and rests her forehead against Piper's shoulder, her eyes closed.

Her arms find their way around Piper's body again and they hold each other close.

"I don't want to let you go," she whispers.

"Never ever do," Piper breathes in response.


	21. Friday, August 29 (2)

Friday, August 29 (2)

_Eventually, Alex loosens her hold slightly and allows her arms to slide from Piper's body. She moves her hands to the other woman's face, holding it gently, a palm against each cheek. They look at each other, unspoken words passing between them before Alex closes the gap that separates them and presses her lips softly against Piper's._

_It takes only moments for the kiss to deepen, Piper's lips part the instant she feels the softness of Alex's tongue touch them and one of them_ moans _, but neither is sure who. Alex breaks the kiss and rests her forehead against Piper's shoulder, her eyes closed._

_Her arms find their way around Piper's body again and they hold each other close._

_"I don't want to let you go," she whispers._

_"Never ever do," Piper breathes in response._

"You smell so good," Alex murmurs against Piper's neck, a few seconds later.

Piper chuckles. "I smell like somebody who hasn't showered for more than thirty-six hours, Al. But thanks for the thought."

Alex steps back and looks at Piper.

"What the _fuck_ are you _doing_ here?" she asks, her hands moving to Piper's biceps.

"Surprise?"

"Hell yes it's a surprise! Seriously, what? How?"

"I told you I hoped to be home for Labor Day," she shrugs. "And I am."

"You're early!"

"Only by a few days. If it's a problem, I can always leave..." she says playfully, stepping away and half turning towards the door.

"I don't fucking think so," Alex replies, pulling her close again. "I don't think I'll let you ever leave."

Piper smiles as she wraps her arms around Alex's waist. "Works for me," she mumbles into her shoulder.

When Alex releases her, she takes hold of her hand. "Come on, let's go upstairs and you can tell me exactly how this early return has happened. Seems John decided we were closing up early today."

Piper grins as she reaches for her duffel and lets Alex lead her to a door off the staff area of the store and up a set of stairs.

"He seems nice."

"Yeah, he's a good kid."

"He's given me a tour of the store while we were waiting for you."

"Kinda different to the tours you're used to, I guess."

Piper smiles a little. "And him."

Alex pauses as she reaches the internal door to her apartment and glances back at Piper. "Huh?"

"He's a vet, isn't he."

Alex's eyes widen in surprise. "He is?"

"Yeah. 1st Infantry, he said."

"How did I not know that? How do _you_ know that?"

Piper grins. "Well when he snapped to attention and addressed me as _Captain_ as soon as I entered the store, that was my first clue."

Alex shakes her head, bewildered. "I had no idea," she murmurs, as she pushes the door to her apartment open.

Piper follows her in, her eyes automatically scanning the room. They're in a large and bright living room, with high ceilings and an enormous L-shaped couch that sits around a low coffee table. There's a television mounted on one wall and another is lined with built-in floor to ceiling bookshelves that still can't quite contain all the books Alex owns. There's an antique writing desk in one corner of the room and a door that leads into a hallway. The room has two large windows that overlook the street, one of which has a built in seat with a multitude of cushions piled in it.

Piper smiles and nods at the window-seat as she lowers her bag to the floor. "That's where you sit when you write to me."

"Sometimes, yeah."

Alex has both hands on the back of the couch now, leaning forward, her arms locked out and taking much of her weight. She rocks back and forth a couple of times, looking at the window. Piper is standing close-by, her duffel bag at her feet, looking around.

The silence slowly envelops them, then both start to speak at the same time.

They laugh awkwardly, then Alex turns to Piper and nods at her. "You first."

Piper removes her patrol cap and holds it in both hands in front of her. She looks at the floor, at Alex's feet, then at the bottom half of her legs. She can't quite bring herself to look Alex in the eye.

"There's so much I want to say to you," she begins quietly. "I don't really know where to start."

Alex remains silent, but nods in understanding.

"I have pictured this moment in my head for weeks, meeting you again."

"Me too," Alex murmurs.

"And now that I'm here, it's all a little… surreal."

Alex chooses silence as a reply.

"It's like, it can't be real because this moment only lives in my head." She finally looks up at Alex. "Does that make sense?"

Alex pauses a beat before answering. "Yes, Pipes. Perfect sense."

"And so, now that it's real, I kinda don't know what to do."

Alex smiles softly and takes a step towards Piper. She takes hold of one of her hands and runs a thumb over the back of her knuckles.

"Come," she murmurs and leads Piper around to the couch.

Alex toes off her shoes and sits in the corner section, tucks her legs under her and pats the seat beside her, gently tugging Piper's hand. Piper drops her cap on the coffee table and accepts the invitation.

As Piper sits, Alex releases her hand and holds her arm out. Piper needs no further instruction and curls into Alex immediately, pressing her body against her side. Alex wraps an arm around the other woman and holds her close, then kisses her hair.

"This is okay, right?" she murmurs. "We don't have to do anything, we don't have to play out any imagined scenes, we don't even have to talk. We can just be here, like this, together."

Alex feels Piper's body relax against her.

"God, why has it taken me twenty-eight years to find you?"

Alex smiles into Piper's hair then rests her cheek against her head.

A few minutes pass until Piper speaks again, quietly. "I found out we were coming home last week. I could have written and let you know, but I guessed I would probably be home before the letter was. We packed up and shipped out late on Wednesday night, which was like, still early afternoon over here. We flew to Kabul, then to Germany, then back here. Landed late this morning."

"Afghanistan, then," Alex says softly.

"South Dakota, yeah." Piper looks up at Alex and smiles, before resting against her again.

"I called you a couple of times, but your phone was off. So I called the store and John answered and told me you'd be back after three-thirty, so I thought I'd just turn up and surprise you. I came straight here."

"So you've been up since, what? Wednesday night?"

"Pretty much, yeah. We had about eight hours in Frankfurt and I grabbed a quick bite to eat and a couple of hours of sleep there, but other than that… yeah."

"You must be wiped out."

"Mmmm."

"You haven't been home? Seen Polly?"

"She wasn't my priority."

Alex smiles and Piper feels the hold on her tighten slightly. "Does she know you're home?"

"Not yet."

"You wanna call her?"

"Not yet."

"You wanna grab some sleep?"

Piper looks up at Alex again. "Not yet."

Alex holds Piper's gaze then asks with a grin, "You wanna fuck like a couple of horny teenagers?"

Piper laughs and stretches up to kiss the other woman who makes it a little easier by dipping her head.

The kiss is soft and gentle, unhurried, and is broken when both women smile. "Not yet," Piper whispers.

Alex gently pulls at the other woman's bottom lip with her teeth, murmuring when she releases it, "You're no fun, Captain Chapman."

Piper smiles wider and rests against Alex again. They cuddle in comfortable silence for a couple of minutes before Piper speaks again.

"I need a shower before we do that. Seriously."

"But that means you have to take off the hot uniform," Alex complains.

"True," Piper replies thoughtfully. "And be naked."

Alex immediately leaps off the couch in comic fashion and drags Piper up, tugging her quickly towards the hallway.

They stumble into the wall, both of them laughing. Alex leans back against the wall and Piper presses against her.

"You're funny," Piper grins.

"In the head?"

"Probably. But I kinda like it."

Piper leans in and captures Alex's lips with her own. One hand holds her hip and the other pushes through her dark hair until she's holding the back of the taller woman's head. Alex lets Piper control the kiss, savouring the slow, deliberate way their lips move against each other. When she feels Piper's tongue push against her lips she opens her mouth, inviting her in. Their tongues touch and slide against the other and Alex's eyebrows draw together. She moves her hand to Piper's hair and pulls her ponytail loose before threading her fingers into her hair and gripping tighter as the kiss intensifies. Alex's other hand moves to the zipper on Piper's jacket and slowly starts to pull it down as Piper withdraws slightly to allow the movement.

"I gotta tell you, Chapman," Alex says, her voice low and huskier than usual. "If I remove this jacket and find you're just wearing a tank underneath it, there isn't a hope in hell of you making it to the shower."

Piper smiles and leans in for another slow and lingering kiss, but the hand that was on Alex's hip moves to cover her hand on the zipper, stopping its movement south.

"Better stop then. I seriously need that shower."

She pulls away and Alex groans in frustration, banging her head back against the wall behind her.

"You're gonna kill me," she grumbles.

Piper smiles a little and murmurs an apology, before moving close to Alex again. Alex's arms automatically move around her and Piper nuzzles into her neck, enjoying the feeling of being held close.

"Come on, let me show you the bathroom."

Alex takes hold of Piper's hand and leads her down the hallway, which turns out not to be a hallway at all. As they pass through the door, Piper finds herself in a combined kitchen / diner, almost as large as the living room, at the end of which is another doorway that leads into a corridor with three doors.

"Bedroom," Alex says as she points at one.

"Main apartment door, so I don't have to use the shop," she says as she points at another.

"Bathroom," she says as she twists the handle and pushes the door open.

Piper takes a step forward, guided by a gentle hand from Alex against her lower back.

"Wow," is all Piper can manage as she looks around the spacious bathroom. "I know you said you were having it remodelled, but this is something else."

Alex leans against the doorframe and smiles as she looks at Piper. "I have good taste," she says, not meaning the décor.

"You do," Piper replies, marvelling at the roll-top bath and the open shower. "And you have good taste in bathrooms too."

She looks back at Alex and grins. Alex laughs softly and moves to a cupboard to find Piper a towel, muttering "Busted," as she passes.

Piper closes the toilet lid and sits down, then starts to unlace her combat boots. Alex hangs a towel on a heated rail just outside the range of the shower, then leans in and turns the water on.

"Should have everything you need in there," Alex says, gesturing to the recessed shelf in the shower wall as she turns away.

"Everything?"

"I think so."

"Including you?"

Alex looks flustered for just a moment, then recovers and moves over to where Piper is sitting. She crouches in front of her and rests her hands on the other woman's knees, looking up at her.

"Piper Chapman. You're very, very tempting. But also very, very stinky. I can't shower with that!"

She grins cheekily then laughs out loud when Piper pushes her backwards in mock outrage, knocking her off balance and sending her sprawling across the slate covered floor.

Alex picks herself up and dusts herself off, then pulls Piper from her seated position. She kisses her lips softly, then speaks quietly, her mouth almost against Piper's, punctuating each sentence with a kiss.

"I'm gonna see if I can find something for you to sleep in, because I'm guessing the contents of your duffel are covered with sand. I'll leave it in on the bed for you. Whilst you shower, I'm going to run over to see the Mario Brothers and I'm going to grab us both a coffee, so you don't fall asleep within twenty minutes of your shower. After that, we're going to go back to doing nothing. Okay?"

"Okay."

"No pressure. No preconceived ideas. Just you and me."

"And coffee."

"And coffee," Alex confirms, smiling.

"Okay."

Alex strokes the backs of two fingers down Piper's cheek and looks at her before leaning in and kissing her again.

"I might have to keep doing that though."

"Doing what?"

"The looking and kissing thing."

Piper touches her nose against Alex's and can't quite keep the smile from her face.

"I can live with that."


	22. Friday, August 29 (3)

_Friday, August 29 (3)_

Alex returns from the coffee shop twenty-five minutes later and calls out a 'hello' as she kicks the door closed behind her. She's balancing two cups of takeout coffee atop two large pizza boxes and just about manages to put them on the kitchen counter without dropping them when Piper appears in the doorway from the living room

She's wearing the cotton pyjama pants Alex had left out for her, plus a chunky knit sweater she hadn't. Her hair has been towel-dried and is back in a low ponytail, her feet are bare.

"Hey," Piper says, leaning against the doorjamb.

Alex looks over and smiles. "Nice sweater."

"Sorry, I was cold after my shower. I didn't rummage through your stuff, I promise, it was on top of the dresser."

Alex shakes her head, dismissively as she busies herself in the kitchen. "Not a problem. Good shower?"

"Oh my God, the _best,_ " Piper replies. "Unlimited hot water that's genuinely hot and not lukewarm and runs cold after two and a half minutes? It may well be the best shower I've ever had."

Alex grins. "Well come over here and have some of the best pizza you'll ever have too."

She opens the boxes on the kitchen counter and pushes a plate towards Piper. "I figured you'd probably be ready for food after your trip. I didn't know what you liked - shoulda put that in my twenty questions, huh? - so we have one veggie and one pepperoni. Go for it."

Piper approaches the counter and slides an arm around Alex's waist as she stands next to her and eyes the pizza. She leans her head against her shoulder and murmurs, "You're awesome. I'm ready to eat my own fist."

Alex chuckles and plants a kiss on top of Piper's head. "Dig in, kid."

They sit side-by-side on stools at the kitchen counter and eat pizza and drink coffee largely in silence. Piper eats most of the veggie pizza on her own before helping herself to a couple of slices of pepperoni too.

"Don't they feed you in the army, Chapman?" Alex jokes.

"Not pizza as good as this, they don't," Piper replies, taking another large bite. She chews and swallows, then wipes her mouth with a napkin and sits back, letting out a long contented sigh.

"Thank you. Good pizza. Veggie, for the record."

"Pepperoni," Alex replies, jerking a thumb at her own chest.

"Noted." Piper grins and stands, then reaches for Alex's hand. "C'mon, my cuddling quotient is running low."

Alex allows herself to be pulled up and follows Piper back into the living room. "Wow, needy much?" she teases, squeezing Piper's hand.

"Yeah, did I forget to reveal that about myself in my increasingly desperate letters to you?"

Alex resumes her place in the corner of the couch and Piper resumes hers, nestled against her. Alex wraps an arm around Piper's upper body and Piper takes hold of her hand immediately, keeping her there.

"They weren't desperate. They were…" she pauses, searching for the right word. "Candid."

"Candid. Hmmm."

"They were. They were open and, I'm hoping, honest."

"They were definitely that," Piper replies, cuddling a little closer.

"I'm just pleased I did better than your Swedish penpal, frankly. Although I started to become a little concerned that I hadn't made it past letter three when you went dark on me for a while there."

There's a smile in Alex's voice, but Piper still apologises. "That was a tough time, I'm sorry it took so long for me to get back to you. We were working flat out and I really didn't ha-"

Alex cuts her off. "Hey. Stop that. You don't have to explain yourself to me. I already told you, it's fine. I get it."

"Yeah, but..."

"No buts," Alex interrupts again. "I understand, Pipes. It was okay."

"Okay," Piper says, but still sounds a little like she wants to continue apologising.

"Seriously, I was always happy to hear from you and the letter you sent me on the back of the order form in the midst of all that? I think that one might actually be my favourite."

Piper laughs softly. "I remember doing that, but I honestly can't remember what I wrote."

Grinning, Alex replies "Oh _I_ can. You told me your favourite colour, your favourite food and your secret crush."

"Ah," Piper murmurs, then looking up at Alex, "not so much of a secret now, huh?"

"Nah, not so much." Alex agrees, smiling.

They look at each other for a few long seconds, before Alex speaks softly. "I can't quite believe you're actually here."

"I know," Piper replies.

"I keep expecting to wake up any moment."

"I know," Piper repeats.

"It _is_ real, right?" Alex's voice is still soft, but hesitant too now.

Piper shifts her position slightly and releases Alex's hand. She stretches her neck, closing the gap between the two of them.

"Let me show you how real," she breathes, before kissing Alex gently.

Alex takes a moment to respond, initially just relishing the touch of Piper's soft lips against her own. Her eyes close as her hands move to Piper's neck, her thumbs rubbing slowly back and forth along her jaw. There is no haste, no urgency, no desperation, just a _relief_ and a contentment and a slow, beautiful dawning awareness that this is indeed reality and not an illusion, a dream or a fantasy. It's _real_.

Piper breaks the kiss but doesn't move away. Her eyes are closed as she kisses the side of Alex's mouth, her cheek, her jaw. She again moves as if to kiss Alex's lips but pauses, holding still for a couple of seconds, just breathing. Alex moves her head slightly to kiss her again, but Piper withdraws, then moves closer again. Their mouths are open against the other, but not touching.

"I can't wait to see you, to touch you, to hold you," Piper whispers. "I can't wait to kiss you, to feel your lips on mine. I want to hold your face in my hands and press my lips against yours, I want to savour the sensation and the taste of your mouth against mine. I want to breathe your breath and have you fill my senses. You overwhelm me..."

Alex lets out a quiet moan as she realises that the words Piper whispers are her own, the very same words she wrote in a letter to Piper a few weeks earlier. The moan is swallowed by a kiss as Piper mercifully closes the small gap between them and kisses Alex again, this time with more haste, and urgency and yes, desperation.

Alex shifts her position, turning into Piper as their lips clash in a bruising kiss, her fingers slide into blonde hair, nails scraping scalp as she pulls the other woman closer. Piper responds to Alex's shift of position by altering her own, moving over her, straddling her hips. Piper's hands move to Alex's hips and grip tightly, applying downward pressure as Alex automatically tries to lift them. Piper's hair falls free from her ponytail aided by Alex's touch, and when the kiss breaks they're both breathing hard.

They look at each other, neither speaking, the atmosphere between them highly charged. Piper looks as if she's about to speak but Alex lurches up and captures her lips once more, cutting off any words and she acquiesces. Alex pushes up into a seated position, her lips never once leaving the other woman's. Piper moves her legs around Alex's waist, their bodies are pressed together, moving together, as Alex drops her mouth to Piper's neck, kissing and sucking the skin before grazing her teeth against her pulse point. Piper shudders involuntarily and Alex smiles against her skin before repeating the movement. Piper's hands move into Alex's hair and she tugs it pulling her head away.

Their eyes meet and Alex wets her lips with her tongue as she looks up at the blonde straddling her. Piper bites one side of her lower lip as Alex's hands slowly push up underneath the sweater. Her thumbs stroke over Piper's abdomen and still they look at each other, as if seeking and offering unspoken consent to continue.

Alex's hands slowly move higher, stroking gently over Piper's skin, a small smile forms on her lips and she raises an eyebrow.

"You didn't like the t-shirt I left out for you?"

Piper just tilts her head to the side slightly, her teeth still holding her lip.

"No wonder you were cold," Alex says, unable to keep the smile at bay.

Piper doesn't speak, she just leans back a little, away from Alex, then grips the bottom of the sweater she's wearing and starts to pull it up, slowly. The smile falls from Alex's lips as she watches the tanned, toned skin being revealed inch by painful inch in front of her. Piper continues her teasing disrobing, ultimately pulling the sweater over her head and tossing it onto the coffee table behind her.

"God," Alex breathes.

Piper remains silent but moves one hand to stroke gently down Alex's cheek.

Alex swallows hard, drinking in the sight of the woman before her. She leans her head into Piper's hand and looks up, meeting her eyes.

"You're so fucking beautiful," she whispers, her voice thick and barely audible.

Piper releases her lip from her teeth and ducks her head, almost shyly, breaking eye contact. A moment later her head flies up and back and a gasp falls from her lips as Alex's lips close around the nipple of her left breast. Her fingers curl into Alex's hair and holds her head in place as her back arches, pushing her chest forward.

Alex slides an arm around Piper's waist, holding her steady. Her other hand moves to cover Piper's right breast, squeezing gently, then pinching the nipple and making her gasp out loud again. Alex continues to work her other nipple with her mouth, using teeth and tongue for maximum effect. Piper's body responds and a flush spreads across her chest and up into her neck. She pushes her hips down against Alex and rocks against her without even realising she's doing it.

Alex moves her arm from Piper's waist going lower, until her hand rests on her ass. She tugs her closer, squeezing her ass cheek, encouraging the rocking to continue. She pulls her head away from Piper's breast for a moment and looks up, finding the other woman looking right back at her, her blue eyes almost black with blown pupils, her breathing heavy. Piper immediately leans in and kisses Alex roughly, the movement of her hips constant, pushing against her. Alex continues to caress Piper's breast with her hand, brushing her thumb over the erect nipple and smiling as the kiss breaks with Piper's immediate heavy exhalation of breath.

She kisses Piper's skin, along her collarbone and down to the soft swell of her breast. Her hand drops from Piper's breast to her hip and her thumb draws small circles over the skin. Alex looks up at Piper again and murmurs her name, just as her fingertips dip inside the waistband of her pyjama pants, seeking permission to continue.

"Please," Piper whispers, meeting Alex's gaze. "Please, Al..."

Alex's hand moves from Piper's ass up to the back of her neck and she holds her in place as she kisses her again. Her fingers continue to push into the pyjama pants and Piper groans into the kiss as Alex's fingers ghost briefly over her clit and onward, pushing through her slick folds. Piper groans again, this time involuntarily breaking the kiss. Her arms wrap around Alex, holding onto her and they remain in this position, cheek against cheek, as two of Alex's fingers slide inside her.

Piper is no longer capable of words as she surrenders to Alex, her hips rocking back and forward, meeting the thrust of her fingers. Alex uses her other hand to support Piper and murmurs quiet reassurances into her ear as she deliberately and carefully brings her closer and closer to her release, listening to her breathing, responding to her movements and speeding her thrusts inside her. Piper's breathing is becoming heavier and she kisses Alex messily, before clinging to her again, her head falling back.

"Piper," Alex murmurs. "Piper, babe, look at me."

Piper lets out a heavy breath and looks down at her and as soon as she does, Alex returns her thumb to Piper's clit. Her eyes fly wide open and she swears loudly, clutching at Alex's shoulders, nails digging into her skin through the fabric of her blouse as her head falls back again.

Alex keeps looking up at Piper as she rides her hand and she feels the shift as she realises Piper is now _taking_ what she needs, rather than being given it.

"Fuck you're amazing," she breathes, too quiet for Piper to hear. Then louder, "Piper… Piper, look at me... Pipes..."

It takes her a moment, but Piper manages to look back at Alex. As soon as she does, Alex speaks again, looking her in the eye, keeping her voice low but clear.

"I love you _so_ fucking much, Piper... Now, come for me."

She does, just a moment later, falling over the edge carried by Alex's words. She clenches hard around the fingers inside her and pushes down, a quiet cry that sounds a lot like Alex's name tumbling from her lips.

Alex holds her close, supporting her as she rides out her release until she eventually relaxes against her. She shudders once, then apologises for it and Alex smiles against Piper's shoulder before kissing the skin gently and slowly withdrawing her fingers.

She winds both arms around Piper and holds her, running her fingers lightly up and down her spine, until Piper's breathing slows to something close to normal. She kisses along the top of Piper's shoulder, then up the side of her neck and nuzzles at the base of her ear.

"You okay?" Alex murmurs.

"Not really," Piper replies, sounding subdued.

Alex frowns and sits back, looking up at Piper with concern.

"I can't believe I survived _another_ tour of Afghanistan and then I get back here and discover _you're_ the one who's gonna kill me."

It takes a second for the penny to drop, then Alex lets out a small relieved laugh.

"But damn," Piper says, leaning in close and brushing her lips against hers. "What a way to go."


	23. Friday August 29 (4)

_Friday, August 29 (4)_

_"You okay?" Alex murmurs._

_"Not really," Piper replies, sounding subdued._

_Alex frowns and sits back, looking up at Piper with concern._

_"I can't believe I survived_ _another_ _tour of Afghanistan and then I get back here and discover_ _you're_ _the one who's gonna kill me."_

_It takes a second for the penny to drop, then Alex lets out a small relieved laugh._

_"But damn," Piper says, leaning in close and brushing her lips against hers. "What a way to go."_

Alex smiles against her lips and kisses her softly. They stay in the same seated position for a couple of minutes, holding each other close, saying nothing, until Piper shivers and Alex leans back so she can look at her.

"Cold?"

"A little."

Alex taps her hands lightly on Piper's thighs, encouraging her to lift from her lap. Piper stands and Alex shifts back on the couch, lying on her side. She looks up at Piper and taps the space on the couch seat in front of her.

"Little spoon?" Piper asks, with a smile.

Alex shakes her head. "No no, facing me."

Piper does as instructed and lies beside Alex on the couch, lying on her side, facing the other woman. Alex reaches behind them and pulls a throw from the back of the couch to cover them both. Piper shuffles a little closer and rests her hand on Alex's hip.

"I haven't seen you for months," Alex murmurs as she adjusts the throw and ensures Piper is properly covered. "No spoons, I just want to look at you."

"Yeah, because that's not creepy," Piper smiles.

Alex grins. "I don't even care," she says, kissing Piper on the lips quickly. "I still can't believe you're here. I think I might just lie here looking at you for the next three weeks."

"Hmm, what about food?" Piper asks.

"What about it? I'm pretty sure you're all I need."

Piper smiles widely and leans in for another kiss. "Wow, I had no idea you were so cheesy, Al," she teases.

"What can I say? You bring out the worst in me."

They kiss again slowly and softly, Piper pushes her leg between Alex's, sliding her foot against the other woman's ankles.

Alex trails her fingers down Piper's ribcage, dancing lightly over her skin. "I can't believe you memorised some of my letter," she says, her gaze drifting down Piper's neck.

"I read them a lot," Piper replies. "Like, a _real_ lot."

Alex leans in and drops a light kiss on a freckle on the side of Piper's neck before replying. "I meant it, though. I meant every word."

"I know," Piper replies. "Me too."

"It still doesn't seem real having you here, but I am so happy you are."

Piper smiles softly and leans in and kisses Alex again languidly. Neither woman wants to hurry, both enjoying finally being able to savour the other.

"I could do this all night," Piper murmurs.

"Fine by me," Alex smiles, kissing her again.

Piper snuggles into Alex's neck, kissing her skin softly, then lets out a quiet, contented sigh. "Are you working tomorrow?"

"Not now," Alex replies.

Piper looks up at her, her eyes asking a question.

"In all honesty, I might not work for the next three weeks," Alex continues.

Piper grins and cuddles in again. "That works for me."

Alex smiles and places a kiss on top of Piper's head. I'm gonna have to call Nicky and tell her that I'm not gonna be- oh shit! Nicky!"

Piper feels Alex tense and looks up, frowning.

"Dammit. I'm sorry… sorry, babe, I need to find my phone..." Alex releases Piper and pushes up to seated again. Piper shifts along the couch, allowing Alex room to manoeuvre.

"What's wrong?"

Alex checks her watch, then moves quickly into the kitchen, speaking back over her shoulder to answer. "I was kinda meant to be in the bar twenty minutes ago..."

"Oh no!"

Alex checks the kitchen, before remembering her phone was charging on her desk downstairs. She moves back into the living room just as Piper is pulling the sweater back over her head again.

"Sorry babe, I'll be right be back," she says, kissing Piper quickly before exiting through the door that'll lead her back into the shop.

When she returns a minute later, she's looking at her phone screen.

"Six missed calls. She's gonna be so pissed."

Alex is about to call Nicky when she catches sight of Piper hopping on one leg as she pulls her ACU pants back on, the pyjama pants discarded over the back of the couch.

Alex pauses. "What're you doing?"

Piper stops, one leg in her pants, one out and looks up at Alex. "What does it look like? I'm coming with you."

"You're..." Alex frowns, confused, shaking her head.

"Oh." Piper pauses. "I mean, no. Um, if you don't want me to, that's cool." She clears her throat, then turns away slightly as she steps into the other leg of her trousers pulling them up quickly and buttoning them.

Alex's hand on her elbow makes her pause and she turns a little, guided by Alex's gentle pull on her arm. "Pipes, no..." her voice is soft.

Piper stands up straight and squares her shoulders, a posture she defaults to when steeling herself.

"I'm not _going_ , babe. I'm going to call her and bail."

A frown creases Piper's brow momentarily, then she relaxes a little. "Oh," is all she can manage to say.

Alex smiles and tilts her head to the side. "You really thought I'd go and not take you with me?"

Piper looks down, not quite able to hold Alex's gaze. "Well, I, ummm..."

Mercifully she's interrupted by the shrill ring of Alex's phone. They both look at the screen and see it's Nicky calling again.

"Let me get this," Alex says as she holds the phone up. "Then you and I are going to talk about why on earth you think I would leave you on your first day back."

Piper's cheeks fill with colour and she looks away, nodding slightly. Alex takes a step away and answers the call.

Piper can only hear one side of the conversation but still feels a little like she's listening in to something she shouldn't. She hears Alex apologise and say that 'something urgent came up' and apologise again, then again. Piper starts to move away back to the couch, but Alex catches her hand and pulls her in close.

"No, I'm really sorry, Nic. I shoulda called, I was totally caught up."

She kisses the side of Piper's head as she listens to Nicky's reply.

"Yeah, no, I know. I'm sorry. No no, it's cool, I'm fine yeah, nothing bad..."

Piper slides her arms around Alex's waist and kisses the soft skin beneath her jaw.

"Look, I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

Another kiss, this one a little lower. Piper's lips move slowly across Alex's skin, dropping soft, gentle kisses.

"No, it's all good. I'll call you tomorrow and explain. I might come around if that's _o_ _hhhhh-_ _kay._ "

Piper is sucking the skin on the front of her throat and Alex is struggling to keep her voice even.

"I gotta… I… gotta go, babe. _NIC_! I mean Nic, I gotta… go."

Piper's hands are now unbuttoning her blouse and she knows she won't be able to hold herself together for much longer if she continues.

"No, it was a… just a… a slip of the… a, uh..." she breathes out heavily as Piper's lips kiss her sternum, her hands now sliding over the cups of her bra.

"Gotta…. go…."

Alex disconnects the call then extends her arm and drops the phone over the back of the couch. It hits the seat, bounces, and lands on the floor. She doesn't even care. Her hand moves to cup the back of Piper's head as the other woman nuzzles between her breasts.

"Piper," she murmurs. Then again, louder, "Piper."

Piper lifts her head and looks up at Alex, the desire clear in her eyes.

"Oh _fuck_ ," Alex breathes, suddenly struck by the realisation of just how much beautiful this woman is, and just how much she wants her.

They kiss and it's clumsy and messy and uncoordinated. Their teeth clash and their tongues war for dominance. Alex feels the moment Piper unfastens her bra and releases her breasts, the other woman's hands move to replace the fabric immediately and Alex moans wantonly into the kiss.

Piper pushes her backwards and Alex's back hits the wall with a thud. The kiss breaks briefly as air is expelled from Alex's lungs, but Piper is quickly upon her again, lips claiming hers in another bruising kiss.

Piper's hands palm Alex's breasts as they kiss and Alex wonders dimly if she'll survive this onslaught. Her breathing is already rapid and her pulse is pounding and they've only got to second base…

Piper's hands move to the waist of Alex's black jeans and her fingers deftly undo the button, then draw down the zip. She breaks the kiss and her lips drag against Alex's cheek towards her ear.

"My turn," she breathes as her fingers dip inside the waistband of Alex's panties.

Alex's head bangs back against the wall and a quiet gasp escapes her lips. Her hand closes around Piper's slender wrist but doesn't try to stop the movement as her hand pushes lower.

Piper's mouth is still next to Alex's ear and Alex therefore hears the small but sharp inhalation of breath as Piper's fingers discover the evidence of just how much Alex wants this. Her teeth close on Alex's earlobe and bite down gently as her fingers move slowly through her velvety folds.

Alex groans quietly and begins to move her hips steadily, rhythmically grinding against Piper's hand. The hold she has on her wrist increases, keeping her exactly where she wants her. Piper's fingers tease Alex's entrance, never quite pushing inside, but drawing the wetness back through her centre.

"I am so _fucking_ desperate to _taste_ you, Alex," Piper breathes in her ear, smiling as she receives the response she was looking for.

Alex moans loudly and squeezes her eyes closed, grinding harder against Piper's hand.

"You want that, Al?" she murmurs.

" _Yessssss_ ," Alex whispers.

"You want my mouth, baby?"

"Ohhhh _god_ , yes..."

Piper's breath is hot in Alex's ear as she continues, "Where?"

Alex groans in response.

"Here?" Piper breathes, dipping two fingers inside Alex's core.

There's another groaned response and the grip Alex has on Piper's arm increases further, her short fingernails digging into the soft skin on the inside of her wrist.

"Or here?" Piper breathes as she trails her fingers back through Alex's folds, ghosting them over her clit.

Alex's hips buck forward and she grinds harder against Piper's hand.

"Tell me, baby. Tell me what you want."

Alex is breathing heavily, her lips move but no words come out.

"Do you want my mouth?" Piper breathes into her ear. "Is that it?"

Alex nods her head, but still no words come out. She is pulling Piper's hand against her and grinding hard, breathless and wanting.

Still with her mouth against Alex's ear, Piper continues in a low, sultry voice, "Do you want my _hot… mouth..._ against your _hot_ … _wet_ … _cunt,_ Alex?"

Alex can't take any more. The feeling of Piper's hand exactly where she wants it combined with the dirty words she's breathing into her ear are too much for her to take and she gives in to the overwhelming pressure that Piper's been slowly building. She comes silently, clutching Piper tightly, her hips bucking against her hand as her orgasm washes over her, then slowly begins to recede.

"Fuck," she breathes, when she feels able to trust her voice.

Piper smiles against Alex's neck, then kisses the skin softly.

Alex releases her hold on Piper's wrist and runs both hands through her own hair, clutching two handfuls at the top of her head as a shudder rips through her when Piper starts to withdraw her hand and her fingers graze over her sensitive nub.

Piper leans in and kisses Alex's lips softly, breathing an apology against her lips for the

Alex releases her hair and wraps both arms around Piper, pulling her tight against her, hugging her close.

She's still not sure she can form coherent sentences, so chooses to remain silent until her breathing slows to a normal rate and rhythm. Piper allows herself to be held, giving Alex time to recover.

Eventually Alex feels a little more in control and speaks quietly.

"You're fucking _filthy_ , Chapman."

"Mmm," Piper hums, smiling.

"And seriously hot."

Piper grins. "Do you think we'll ever actually make it into the bedroom?"

"I'm not sure either of us will survive it when we do," Alex replies, smiling.

"Let's find out..." Piper pulls away and takes hold of Alex's hand and starts to lead her to the bedroom. Alex allows it, almost moaning out loud at the predatory look she sees in Piper's eye when she looks back over her shoulder at her.

"God help me..." she whispers, smiling.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to start winding this story up. Whilst it could continue, the whole concept was about the letters between them and I don't want it to get away from that. Now they're no longer writing, neither am I. This story is done. Two more chapters to come.


	24. Saturday, August 30

_Saturday, August 30_

It's six-twenty and Alex isn't sure what woke her, but she wakes quickly and immediately raises her head from the pillow.

Piper is beside her in bed, but sitting bolt upright, looking wildly around the bedroom. Alex hears the loud clanging noise of the garbage truck in the street emptying another dumpster at the same time as she sees Piper jump, throwing the comforter off her and swinging her legs out of bed, alert.

Instantly, Alex understands.

She pushes herself up to a seated position and reaches out a hand, placing it gently on Piper's tensed shoulder.

"Pipes," she says, keeping her voice as soft as she can. "Pipes it's okay. It's okay babe."

Piper's head jerks around to look at her and even in the dim light of the morning, Alex can see the fear and confusion in her eyes.

Alex rubs a thumb over her shoulder and squeezes gently. "It's okay, Pipes," she murmurs, "everything's fine."

Piper's eyes take a moment to focus and Alex feels the tension start to ease beneath her hand.

"It's just the garbage truck, babe. It's all okay."

She feels rather than hears the quiet sigh that Piper lets out, then watches as the other woman leans forward and rubs both hands over her face. Alex remains silent, her hand still on Piper's shoulder.

Piper covers Alex's hand with her own, then turns her head to the side and kisses her fingers lightly.

"Thanks," she murmurs. Then, "Bathroom." She stands and leaves the room and Alex sees the light filter from the bathroom into the hall as Piper enters and pushes the door closed behind her.

Alex lies back in bed and rubs a hand over her forehead, easing away the frown there. She lies still, listening as the garbage truck makes its way down the street, then turns the corner. She hears the toilet flush in the bathroom, then the sound of running water as Piper washes her hands.

Alex lies in bed waiting, listening to the sounds in her apartment. She hears the water stop, then silence as she imagines Piper is drying her hands. Then nothing.

She lies still for a full minute, then another, but can hear no movement from the bathroom or elsewhere in the apartment. The frown returns to her forehead and she shifts position, angling her ear towards the door, listening more intently. After four minutes have passed with no sight or sound of Piper, she pushes herself up and out of bed and goes to look for her.

The bathroom door is ajar, the light still on, so Alex approaches slowly.

She hesitantly leans her around the doorframe and sees Piper, completely naked, standing in front of the basin. Her hands rest on the edge of the counter and her head is hanging low between her shoulders. She's breathing raggedly.

"Piper?" Alex's voice is quiet, concerned.

Piper lifts her head and half-turns towards Alex, swiping the heel of her hand across her cheek as she turns. She offers a weak smile, but Alex isn't fooled by it and approaches her without hesitance.

"Come here," she murmurs, drawing Piper into her arms.

"I'm sorry," Piper whispers, but Alex just shushes her and strokes her hair.

They stand like this for a couple of minutes, both women naked following their adventures of the previous evening in Alex's bed. They stand close together, skin against skin, soft breasts pressed against soft breasts, saying nothing. Eventually, Alex slides her hands down Piper's arms and takes her hands. She squeezes gently, then leads her back into the bedroom.

Once back in bed, Alex lies on her back and Piper curls into her. Alex covers them both with the comforter again and presses her lips against Piper's hair.

"It's just the first few nights," Piper offers, her voice so quiet Alex can only just hear her. "It's always the same. Every time."

"Was it the noise?" Alex asks, equally quietly. "The garbage truck?"

"Yeah."

Alex keeps quiet and strokes Piper's hair soothingly. After a moment, Piper continues.

"It was just so loud, so close. It startled me, the noise. I thought it was… I thought..." her voice trails off and Alex shushes her again.

"It's okay," she murmurs a few seconds later. "I've got you, Pipes. You're safe now. You're safe."

Piper's arm lies across Alex's waist and Alex feels the hold on her increase ever so slightly.

"Go back to sleep, babe. I've got you now. You're safe."

* * *

The next time Piper wakes, it's to the smell of bacon drifting into her consciousness. The bed is empty beside her, but if she listens carefully she can just about hear Alex's voice singing quietly elsewhere in the apartment.

Piper smiles, then stretches, then hauls herself out of the bed. She finds her ACU pants on the floor and shakes them out before stepping into them. She looks around the room and sees a black tank discarded over the back of a chair near the dresser, so pulls that on. She brushes her hair with her fingers, then goes in search of Alex. And bacon.

She finds them both in the kitchen. Alex is standing by the window overlooking the street, washing a pan as she sings quietly to herself. The bacon is on a plate on the counter, along with two pieces of toast, a mound of still steaming scrambled eggs, a glass of OJ and two mugs of coffee.

Alex is dressed in a long, dark, flowing summer dress. She's barefoot and her hair is loose. She's wearing a pair of dark framed glasses that Piper wasn't expecting to see. She turns as finishes washing the dishes and catches sight of Piper standing on the other side of the counter.

"Hey sleeping beauty," she smiles.

"Hey."

"You okay?"

Piper rubs the heel of one hand into one eye, but nods. "I think so. What time is it?"

Alex checks her watch as she approaches Piper. "Eleven-thirty."

"Oh, wow," Piper replies. "I slept _good_."

"Mmm," Alex murmurs as she envelops Piper in her arms. "You kinda earned it after last night's exertions though."

Piper smirks and looks up at her. "We should both probably sleep for about three days straight after that, honestly."

Alex chuckles and kisses her softly.

"You sure you're okay?" she asks, keeping her voice gentle, pulling back only far enough so she can look into Piper's eyes as she asks.

"I'm good, yeah. Promise."

Alex smiles a little, seemingly satisfied with this response. She brushes her lips against Piper's again.

"I'm a little sore," Piper murmurs, "but in a good way. Definitely not complaining."

They kiss again, soft and gentle and unhurried and Alex feels her pulse quicken as they hold each other and begin picking up where they left off the previous evening.

Alex breaks the kiss and tries to keep hold of some control while she still can.

"I made you breakfast," she says as she withdraws and pulls a stool out at the counter for Piper. "Or brunch now, I guess."

They sit beside each other, as they had when they were sharing pizza, and Alex slides the plate and cutlery towards Piper.

Piper almost moans as she looks at the food. "This looks amazing, thank you."

She's on her third mouthful of eggs when she realises Alex isn't eating and she frowns, looking at her. "Where's yours?"

"I told you last night," she replies, taking a sip of coffee. "No food for me, _you're_ all I need."

She grins, showing Piper she's joking, then adds "I ate earlier, when you were sleeping. I'm good."

Piper returns her focus to her food and has cleared half of her plate by the time she speaks again. She gestures with her fork towards Alex's face, swallows a mouthful of food, then says "Glasses."

Alex isn't sure if this is a statement or a question or a general observation, so just nods.

"I didn't know you wore glasses," Piper says.

"Yeah. Well, contacts mainly. Blind without 'em."

"Hmm," Piper takes another drink of juice. "That's a shame," she says absently.

"Me being blind?"

"No, you mostly wearing contacts. The glasses do something..."

Alex smiles, "Other than allowing me to see, you mean?"

Piper places her cutlery on her almost empty plate and pushes it away from her slightly. She finishes off her OJ, looking at Alex.

"What?" Alex asks, half-frowning, half-smiling.

"I mean they _do something_ to _me_ ," she swivels on her seat to face Alex, looking at her properly. "They're super hot, Al. Seriously."

Alex raises a sceptical eyebrow, not entirely convinced.

"Really," Piper says, as she slides off her stool and stands in the space between Alex's legs. "They make me want to _do things_ to you."

Alex swallows and her eyes flutter closed as Piper leans in and kisses her lips so softly she's not even sure if they actually touched.

"What, ah, what kind of things?" Alex asks, her voice already unsteady.

Piper moves her hands to Alex's thighs and leans closer. Her lips drag across Alex's cheekbone and to her ear.

"Bad things," she breathes. " _Bad, bad_ things."

Alex tries to bite back a moan but doesn't quite manage it. Piper inhales deeply, then kisses the side of Alex's neck.

"You smell so good," she whispers, then sucks gently on the skin just beneath Alex's ear. "But you _taste_ even better…"

Alex tilts her head to the side, allowing Piper better access. "I wanna taste you, Alex," Piper breathes, her hands sliding higher along her thighs. "I wanna make you come… in my mouth… _again_."

Alex feels a rush of heat to her core and she doesn't even attempt to resist when Piper pulls her from the stool and starts to lead her back to the bedroom.

* * *

Piper is back in her full uniform and Alex can hardly take her eyes off her.

"Do we really have to do this?" she asks, as she pulls her boots on.

"Well yeah, I need to get some clothes even if nothing else. I can't just walk around looking like this all the time."

"Damn, why not? It's hot, Pipes."

Piper screws her face up and shakes her head. Alex stands and approaches her. "Look, you don't have to _get_ it," she starts. "I know you see it every day so it's nothing special, right? But believe me, it is hotter than a hot thing in Hotville."

Piper smiles a little at this, but still isn't convinced.

"Wait, wait right there," Alex says as she hurries off in the direction of the bedroom. When she returns, she has one hand hiding something behind her back.

She stands in front of Piper. "Okay. Ready?"

Piper shrugs, so Alex brings her hand forward, unfolds her glasses and slides them on.

Piper's eyes darken and she lets out a quiet groan.

"There!" Alex says victoriously. "It's exactly like that. For you it's the glasses, for me it's the uniform. Not a single difference."

Piper concedes this point, but not her need to return home and pick up some civilian clothes. "I still can't walk around like this though, babe. I really do need to change."

"You're no fun," Alex pouts.

Piper moves up close to her. "That's not what you were saying an hour ago when you came harder than you ever have, screaming my name..."

Alex tries to defend herself with an indignant "I wasn't ' _screaming_ ' it. It was a shout at best."

Piper laughs. "I'll take that," she grins.

Alex finishes fastening her boots, then stuffs her phone into the pocket of her jacket. Piper waits patiently for her.

Alex is going to Nicky's to explain about why she couldn't work the previous night. Piper's returning to her own apartment, to surprise Polly with her arrival and to pick up some civvies. They plan to meet up again back at Alex's apartment later.

"Call me when you're heading back, yeah?" Alex says.

"Of course, yeah. I'll aim for seven. Will you call me if you're gonna be any later than that?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Please don't call me that, I'm not your grandmother."

Alex chuckles and pulls Piper in for a kiss. "Thank the baby Jesus for that."

They kiss each other slowly, almost lazily, both just enjoying being able to do so. Alex breaks the kiss abruptly, frowning.

"Um, I've just realised, I know lots about you; I know your favourite colour, your favourite food, your family background, what you look like naked, what you taste like, what you sound like when you come…" Piper blushes at this, then Alex continues "But I won't be able to call you because I don't know your phone number."

Piper looks a little surprised, but before she can answer, Alex adds "Or your address."

Alex is frowning now and looking at Piper with an expression she hasn't seen before.

"What?" Piper asks. "What is it, Al?"

Alex hesitates before saying what's on her mind. "You… you _are_ gonna come back, right?"

The question is so alien to her that initially, it doesn't make any sense to Piper. "W-what?"

"This… last night, today… it's… you..."

Piper realises all of a sudden what it is that Alex is trying to ask. She realises that the expression she didn't recognise on the other woman's face was one of fear.

She immediately grabs at Alex's jacket, rummaging in her pockets for her phone. "Give that thing to me, dumbass."

Alex raises an eyebrow but allows Piper to take her phone. She watches as the blonde unlocks it then taps on the screen frenetically, adding her home and cell numbers, home address and email address. When finished, she holds the phone up so Alex can see the screen.

"Happy?" she asks.

Alex just looks at her, happy to have the contact details, but less pleased that she revealed her insecurities so clearly.

Piper slips the phone back into Alex's pocket, then takes hold of both of her lapels. She pulls the taller woman closer to her and speaks against her lips.

"You're my genetic match, dumbass. You're my _one_. You're the love of my motherfuckin' life, Alex Vause. Please, don't ever doubt us again."

As their lips meet again, Alex vows she never, ever will.


	25. September 6, 14 and 18

_Saturday, September 6_

Alex is working in the store, discussing with John the arrangements for the next student display in the gallery. They've chosen a female student from Cooper Union on this occasion who has created an exhibition to discuss homelessness in the city via the medium of photography. She shows two photographs side by side, one of which is a high school yearbook photo and the other a current shot of the individual today and their living conditions. Beneath each photograph she details the person's first name, age, their yearbook quote and their former occupation. Included in the display there's a banker, a firefighter, a Marine and a teacher. She has selected thirteen individuals to feature in the exhibition and six of them are currently spread over the surface of Alex's desk as she and John lean against the desk and sort through them.

They're engrossed in their discussion when Piper enters the store, carrying three coffees from Screamin' Beans. John notices her first and immediately snaps to attention, causing Alex to look up. Piper chuckles quietly and shakes her head.

"You really don't have to do that every time, John."

"Yes ma'am. Sorry ma'am," John replies, relaxing his posture.

"Also, 'Piper' is fine," she says, handing him a coffee.

"Uh, thank you... ma'am," John responds, taking the cup but clearly not comfortable in using her first name.

"You're not gonna win that particular battle, Chapman," Alex pipes up and Piper smiles, shrugging one shoulder.

She hands Alex her coffee, leaning in to kiss her cheek as she does. "I'm gonna keep trying," she replies.

Alex thanks her for the coffee and Piper tosses the drinks tray into the trash then slides her arm around the other woman's waist. She looks down at the photos on the desk.

"What's this?"

"The next student's exhibition," Alex says. "We were just discussing whether we should ask her if she wants to increase the space to show twenty pieces rather than thirteen."

Piper moves a little closer to the desk and examines one of the pieces, this one featuring an IT worker named Zac. She smiles a little as she reads the yearbook quote.

_I'm gonna go stand outside. If anyone asks, I'm outstanding._

She pushes the photo aside with a fingertip and looks at another, this one of the former Marine, Marcus.

_No matter how much it hurts, how dark it gets, or how hard you fall... You are never out of the fight._

As she looks at the accompanying photos, she sees a solid, clean-cut and handsome young man in the first, alongside a photograph of a scruffy looking, bearded, tired guy in his late twenties. It's clear from the photo that he is missing his left leg from just above the knee. She frowns as she studies the photo in silence, then looks over at John. He shifts slightly, adjusting his centre of gravity, he holds Piper's gaze for two full seconds then looks down at the desk.

Piper nods slowly as she turns her attention back to the desk.

"Yeah," she says quietly. "Definitely more. As many as she has."

"Yeah? Okay, I'll give her a call Monday. Right now though we have to go, or we're gonna be late."

Piper takes a moment, still looking at the photo of Marcus, then nods. Alex shrugs into her jacket and swipes her keys from the desk. She looks around for her phone and turns back just in time to see Piper turn from the desk, stand to attention and salute John.

She watches as John quickly recovers from his surprise and nods once, before returning the salute.

"Thank you, ma'am," he says softly, then drops his hand to his side.

Piper holds the salute until John ends his. "No, thank _you_ , Soldier."

Alex watches this exchange in silence, a little bewildered. She waits until the moment has passed, then offers John a small smile as Piper takes her hand and pulls her toward the door.

"Later, dude. You're in charge again," she says as she exits.

John smiles and raises a hand. "Enjoy, ladies," he says as they exit the store.

They walk hand in hand as they head toward the subway.

"So, do I ask?" Alex says after a moment.

"Ask what?"

"Um, what that was about in the store. With John."

"I was just showing him some respect," Piper replies, with a half-shrug.

"Isn't it meant to be the other way around? You're the Captain..."

"Yeah, but I'm not the one who sacrificed a leg for my country."

Alex stops in her tracks. Piper walks another couple of steps before she's pulled back due to Alex's lack of motion.

"What?" she asks, looking back at Alex. Then, "Oh you're kidding me. You didn't _know_?"

"How would I know?" Alex replies. "It's not like he wore shorts to his interview!"

Piper laughs quietly and moves up close to Alex. "You know," she says softly, "for someone so smart you're really dumb sometimes."

She kisses Alex's lips, then smiles and squeezes her hand. "Come on," she says, tugging Alex gently. "We're gonna be late and I know I've only met her once, but I already fear being late to meet Red. The Taliban have _nothing_ on her."

* * *

_Sunday, September 14_

They're seated in Nicky's bar, in Alex's usual booth. They're drinking coffee and are talking quietly as they wait for Nicky to return from serving customers.

"I kinda like your Sunday routine," Piper says. "This is nice."

Alex smiles. "It's a little strange now, usually I sit at this table writing letters to you on a Sunday afternoon."

"You could still do that if you wanted to."

"Not yet. I'm gonna make the most of you being here. I'm already not looking forward to having to go back to the letter writing."

Piper frowns. "Really? I loved receiving your letters."

"And I loved getting yours, and I enjoyed writing to you, but I much prefer having you here to talk to."

"Mmm, me too. It was tough over there. This tour seemed tougher than the others, honestly."

"Yeah?"

Piper frowns. "Yeah. I think… I don't know. I never really had anything worth returning for, I guess. Nothing that I missed. I mean, yeah, my friends and my family are here, but..."

"But?"

"But they have their lives that run perfectly without me being an ever present. They're used to me not being around and when I come back they're pleased to see me, but within a couple of days they slip back to their usual lives and I'm not a part of that. It doesn't really make returning home anything special to look forward to."

"I never thought of it like that," Alex replies frowning.

"It's okay, I mean, I get it. I don't want or expect everyone to put everything on hold whenever I go away. That'd be ridiculous. It just makes me feel a little alienated, I guess. Like, this is home, but I don't fit in here really."

"I hope I never make you feel that way," Alex says.

Piper looks at her, confused.

"I don't ever want you to feel that you're not a part of my life. An important part. Probably the _most_ important part."

Piper smiles a little and looks away, finishing her coffee.

"I mean it," Alex continues. "I can't tell you the impact you've had on my life, Pipes. I am fucking _dreading_ the end of these three weeks."

Piper looks at her and frowns. "Why?"

"Why? Because a week from now my completed little life gets shattered into pieces again and the most important piece-"

Alex is cut off abruptly by the return of Nicky.

"What up, sickening lesbian couple?"

She places two more cups of coffee on the table and flops onto the seat beside Piper.

Piper smiles and thanks her for the coffee. "Sickening?"

"Well I can't say hot, cuz Alex will knock me out," Nicky grins.

"Damn straight," Alex replies.

"But then, I guess if you did that, Nurse Chapman here would be more than happy to tend to my wounds and nurse me back to health."

" _Captain_ Chapman," Alex corrects.

"Damn, yeah. I forget you're a tough scary Marine, Chapman."

"Well, that's because I'm not."

"Huh?"

"A Marine, I'm not a Marine."

Nicky frowns and shakes her head. "But, I thought you were on a Marine base?"

"I was," Piper replies, "but that doesn't make me a Marine. That's like saying if I go to Yankee Stadium that makes me a ball player."

"She has a point," Alex says to Nicky.

"Nurse Corps, not Marine Corps. I'm just a nurse."

"You're not ' _just_ ' anything," Alex is quick to chip in.

"Yeah, except for _just_ the love of your life, huh Vause?"

Piper is sure she can see a blush burning Alex's cheeks and she doesn't miss the filthy look she throws her friend. Before she can formulate a reply, Nicky's up on her feet.

"Customers! Later, lesbians," and she heads back to the bar again.

"Don't listen to her," Alex mutters as Nicky walks away.

Piper places her hand on Alex's thigh and rubs it gently with her thumb. "Okay," she murmurs.

Alex reaches forward and picks up her coffee.

"Pretty sure you're mine, though," Piper says, just as she takes a sip.

Alex burns her lip on the coffee when she jolts on hearing Piper's words. She looks sideways at her and watches as Piper shrugs.

"Just sayin'"

Alex swallows and looks back at the table, replacing the coffee, then shakes her head.

"Wanna get out of here?" she asks, not looking at Piper.

"Why?"

"I have this sudden urge to show you just how much I love you and I don't wanna do it in front of Nicky."

"Hmmm. Does it involve sex?"

"It might do."

"What kind?" Piper asks, turning her head to look at Alex at last.

"What kind?" Alex replies, a little confused.

"The soft and slow and gentle kind," Piper asks, slowly sliding her hand up Alex's thigh, "Or the hard and fast and filthy kind."

Alex watches Piper's mouth as she speaks and finds she has to clear her throat before replying.

"Which do you choose?"

"Why do I have to choose?" Piper replies with a cheeky smile.

"Point," Alex replies, grabbing Piper's hand and practically dragging her to the door.

* * *

_Thursday, September 18_

Piper turns her phone back on as she hurries toward the subway station. She has four missed calls, all from Alex. No messages.

She quickly taps out a text message.

_-16:10 Just saw your missed calls, sorry. Are you free? I need to see you._

She hits send and waits for a reply, her phone vibrating in her hand a few moments later.

_-16:11 Sure, kid. You okay?_

_-16:13 Yeah. Need to talk with you though._

_-16:14 When?_

_-16:15 Now?_

_-16:18 Sure. Your place?_

_-16:19 Great. See you there._

Piper stuffs the phone back into her pocket and descends the steps into the subway.

There are delays on the line and she has to jog back to her apartment from the station. When she arrives, Alex is already there, seated on the top step.

She looks up as Piper skids to a halt in front of her, wearing her full uniform.

"The fuck, Pipes?"

"Sorry, sorry… delays on the line. I ran all the way here from the station."

Alex stands, frowning. "What's with the fancy dress?" she asks, gesturing up and down with one finger at Piper's uniform.

"I had a meeting," Piper replies as she digs into her pocket for her keys.

"Everything okay?"

"I think so," she says as she unlocks the door. "Come in. I need to talk with you."

Alex frowns more and follows Piper into the apartment. She watches as Piper shrugs out of her jacket then sits and removes her boots. She's left wearing a sand coloured t-shirt and her ACU pants.

"You look like a soldier again," Alex comments as she drapes her own jacket over the back of the couch then sits down.

"It's what I am," Piper shrugs, placing her boots beside the couch.

"I prefer to think of you as a nurse," Alex says, leaning back into the couch.

"Why is that?"

"Huh?"

"Why do you prefer to think of me as a nurse and not a soldier?"

Alex shrugs and looks at Piper's boots. "I don't know."

"You've been weird this week."

"I have?"

"You know you have. What I want to know is why."

Alex swallows then scratches her jaw. "I think you know the answer to that question already."

"I want you to tell me."

Alex doesn't reply.

"Alex, tell me."

Alex looks up and directly at Piper. "Because this conversation's been coming and I've been dreading it, that's why."

Piper nods. "And what? By ignoring it, it'll never happen?"

"That's what I was hoping, yeah."

"And how's that working out for you?"

Alex laughs humourlessly and tilts her head back against the couch. "Pretty shit," she mutters.

Piper moves to sit beside Alex on the couch.

"So let's talk," she says softly, taking hold of one of Alex's hands.

Alex looks down at their joined hands and keeps silent for almost a minute before the words she's thinking find their way out and fill the room.

"I'm scared."

"Okay," Piper murmurs. "That's a good start. Keep going."

"This past three weeks… almost three weeks… they've been good."

"Yeah."

"Like really good."

"Yeah."

"And I don't want them to end."

"And they're going to?"

"They have to, right?" Alex looks up at Piper's face, a sadness shining in her eyes.

Piper sighs. "We should've had this conversation two weeks ago, Al."

Alex shakes her head and looks away again.

"Let me tell you about these past three weeks," Piper starts. "For me, they've been special. I've spent the majority of my time with you and there's not a minute of them I haven't enjoyed. You've made me feel at times like I'm the most important person in the world. The most beautiful. The most intelligent. The most desirable. The most _loved_."

Alex looks up at Piper and wets her lips. She nods. "You are," she murmurs.

Piper shakes her head dismissively. "You're biased. But that's not the point. What I want to know is how long this is going to last."

Alex looks confused. "How long…?"

"I mean, are we just doing the stereotypical lesbian thing? We've been together for three weeks and that's like six years in lesbian time. Three weeks, Al, and I've cleaned out a drawer for you in my bedroom and you've given me a key to your apartment. Are we doing these things at such speed because we're doing the stereotypical thing, or because what I feel – what _we_ feel – is real?"

"I, um..."

"Or are we doing everything at such a pace because you think we have to cram everything into three weeks?"

Alex's brow furrows and she looks back at their hands. They're both silent for a few moments before Piper speaks again.

"It doesn't feel like three weeks because it isn't three weeks. It started way before I got back, we both know that. It started with the letters, that's where we really built on the connection that we both felt six months ago."

Alex nods her agreement but keeps her head down.

"When I tell you that I love you, Alex, do you believe me?"

Alex looks up, a little surprised by the question. "I… do," she replies. "I really do."

"And what does it mean?"

"What does it…?"

"When I tell you that I love you, what does that mean to you?"

"I can't answer that," Alex says, a little perturbed. "I can tell you what I mean when I say it to you, though."

"Go on," Piper prompts.

Alex takes a breath and takes a moment to order her thoughts. When she speaks, she looks Piper directly in the eye. Her voice is soft, but a little shaky.

"When I tell you that I love you, I'm telling you that you mean the world to me. I'm telling you that I care about what happens to you. I worry about your safety and I'd do anything to maintain it. I'm telling you that I want to spend every moment with you and I'd still want more. I'm telling you that I will fight for you, and defend you, and protect you. I'm telling you that I'd always do whatever I could to make you happy and if I couldn't make you happy, I'd always be there to offer you comfort. I'm telling you that just looking at you makes my heart beat faster and I want nothing more than to make you feel safe and happy, and cherished."

Piper remains quiet.

"That's what I'm saying," Alex finishes, quietly.

Piper leans forward and kisses Alex softly and slowly, their lips slightly parted and pressed together.

"You didn't even mention sex. I'm impressed," Piper murmurs as she pulls away again.

Alex smiles. "I know, right? I'm so proud of myself."

Piper grins and rests her forehead on Alex's shoulder. When she sits up again, she squeezes Alex's hand.

"All of those things, Al, it's exactly the same for me. I mean all of those things every time I tell you that I love you. I'd also probably add that you make me feel like my life suddenly makes sense now, and I can't imagine ever being intimate with anybody else in my life, other than you."

"Because I gots da skillz, right?" Alex says with a cheeky smile.

Piper laughs quietly. "Yeah, you gots da skillz."

They both fall silent, but it only takes a few seconds for the smile to fall from Alex's lips.

"I don't want it to end," she murmurs. "I don't want these three weeks to ever end. I don't want you to go back. It feels like I've spent my whole life searching for you and now I've found you, but I only get to keep you for three weeks."

"And this is why we should've had this conversation at least two weeks ago."

Alex looks confused and shakes her head.

"You haven't asked me where my base is. In the US, I mean."

"Oh, I..." Alex is surprised, then realises Piper is right. "Yeah, no. I mean… where's your base?"

"Colorado," Piper replies. "I work out of Fort Carson."

"Oh. Oh, I… I didn't…." Alex's voice trails off, so Piper steps in.

"Didn't consider that I'd have a US Base? Just assumed I'd be heading straight back to Afghanistan after my three weeks' leave?"

"Well, um. I guess I didn't think it through," Alex offers.

"And this is why we should've had this conversation a couple of weeks ago."

Alex nods, her mind suddenly running through countless possibilities and trying to work out just what this means.

"I rarely get posted overseas. I mean, I know I said I've been out there a lot, but that's because I volunteered. I don't have to go. I spend most of my time working out of a military hospital here. Well, Colorado Springs, anyway."

"I didn't know that," Alex concedes.

Piper nods.

"That's, that's way closer than Afghanistan."

"Your knowledge of geography, that's one of the reasons I love you," Piper grins.

Alex smiles a little and looks away. Piper can still see the cogs turning in her mind.

"It's about a six-hour flight," Piper says quietly. "One change, usually in Chicago."

"Okay," Alex says, nodding.

"I work three twelve hour shifts per week. Three on, four off."

"We could make that work, couldn't we?"

Piper smiles a little. "Are you asking me or telling me?"

"Both?"

Yeah," Piper says. "We could definitely make that work."

Alex runs a hand through her hair and lets out a frustrated sigh. "We shoulda had this conversation two weeks ago, Piper."

Piper laughs and bumps her shoulder against Alex's.

They're quiet for a little while, leaning against each other, both thinking about their next words. It's Alex who breaks the silence.

"I wonder what the Arts scene is like in Colorado Springs."

This takes Piper by surprise and seems entirely out of context.

"I'm pretty sure they have a few schools. Isn't the Cottonwood Center based there?"

"I, uh, I have no idea," Piper admits.

"I'll have to Google it. I'm sure they have schools though. The Bemis too, I think?"

"You could be speaking Dutch to me now and it would make about as much sense, I'll be honest."

"Well, I'm just thinking," Alex muses, "the store is doing well, John has pretty much run the show this past three weeks so he'd have no problem managing things. Maybe I could consider expanding."

"Expanding?"

"Yeah, like, growing the business. Maybe open a second store."

She looks at the surprise on Piper's face, then adds "In Colorado Springs."

Piper's jaw drops open and Alex laughs quietly, then places a fingertip under her chin to push it closed again.

"You… you'd do that?" Piper finally asks, the surprise still evident in her voice.

"Well, I'd have to look into it, check the local schools there, find the right location, but… yeah. Yes. Yes, I totally would."

"You'd move? To Colorado Springs?"

"To be with you? Piper, I'd move to the middle of nowhere if it meant I could be with you."

"Well that's good," Piper says seriously, "because Colorado Springs really is in the middle of nowhere."

Alex laughs and kisses Piper's cheek.

"Seriously babe, yeah. I really would. I don't want to be apart from you, even for three days a week."

"Oh God, you really can't do that."

"Sure I can."

"No no, you can't. You mustn't."

Alex looks confused. "But, but why? I thought… I mean, we've just said..."

Piper is shaking her head vigorously. "God. I love you. I love you so much, but you really can't."

"Why can't I?"

"Because that's where I've been today. My meeting. I was formalising my transfer."

"What?! What transfer? What are you talking about?"

"I requested a transfer. Two weeks before I left Helmand."

"You… I don't understand."

"I knew. I knew it, Al. Before I even came home, I knew that I wouldn't be able to get through the days if it meant you weren't in them."

"So you…?"

"Put in for a transfer. I mean, I'm pretty sure we could make Colorado Springs work, but it wouldn't be easy and it wouldn't be… enough."

"Right."

"So I had to go to a meeting today, to formalise the details of my transfer."

"Your transfer to…?"

"West Point."

"West Point," Alex says, flatly.

"Yeah. West Point."

"As in, West Point, New York."

"Yes ma'am."

"As in, West Point, ninety minutes north of here?"

"Affirmative. Keller Hospital, on the base."

Alex is silent, her mind whirring. Piper remains quiet, waiting.

"Are you serious?" Alex eventually asks, quietly.

"Deadly," Piper replies.

"You've done this? You've transferred?"

"I have."

"Effective from?"

"October first. I have to return to Colorado next Monday, but only to pack up my stuff."

"I can't believe you've done this," Alex says, thinking out loud.

"Forgive me, but you don't exactly seem pleased about it."

Alex looks at Piper and immediately apologises. "No no! Sorry, no, I mean… yeah… I'm, it's… no..."

"Sentences would be good, Al. I'm not good at filling in the blanks," Piper smiles.

"I just can't believe you've done it."

"Why not?"

"I mean, for me."

Piper grins. "Well for me too, honestly. It's not entirely altruistic."

"Nobody's ever done anything like this before, Piper. Not, not for me. This is the kind of thing that happens in the movies, not in my _life_."

"Don't get me wrong, but didn't you just offer to move to Colorado Springs for me?"

"Well, yes, but..."

"There are no buts, Al," Piper cuts her off. "There's just you and me and there are no buts."

"Well, there's _your_ butt," Alex counters. "Which looks particularly fucking good in those uniform trousers. That's a butt."

Piper smiles. "That's a butt, yes."

"That's a mighty fine butt, as buts go."

"You're an ass," Piper laughs, " _but_..." she puts emphasis on the word, as if this is the only 'but' that counts, her voice serious now, "you're also absolutely, totally, without a doubt, the love of my life."

Alex looks up at Piper, then adds "And I give great head, don't forget that part."

"Prove it," Piper says, leaning in for a kiss.

Alex's hands move to unfasten Piper's belt as they kiss. She doesn't need telling twice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're done here. The rest exists only in your minds. Enjoy that!  
> I'm officially closing all of my browser tabs on the US Army Nurse Corps, Camp Dwyer in Afghanistan on which Piper's base was uh, based, the 2014 calendar, numerous Wiki pages and US Army bulletin boards and thank goodness for Google for helping with my research. I have no military background at all, so all errors are mine and mine alone and I apologise for any glaring ones. I am a nurse, but Mental Health not Piper's variety, hence the lack of nursey-tech stuff in this fic.
> 
> Thanks for all the support as this story has progressed. Much appreciated.


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